Tuesday, May 30, 2006

What is Torre doing, pitching Mariano 3 innings?

11-6, Yankees are winning. I know that Rivera had only pitched 16 pitches, but why do you throw him one more in the 11th? I don't get it.

Annoying Yankee fan Pt. 2

Holy shit!!!! If I was a fan at "Tiger Stadium", I would find out where this guy was sitting and consider flinging a "submarine pitch" of beer or, even an aerial bomb from an upper deck, but then you'd have collateral damage. Of course, punching him in the face could get you arrested. The one consoling fact is that God is just. As annoying and evil as some Yankee fans are, God is watching all this and if they are deserving of punishment, they will be punished, either here or in the hereafter. I must be merciful and hope that they are punished here as opposed to the bad place, or at least in purgatory. I forgive them, but punishment is most likely warranted. So don't worry, if you are a decent and good baseball fan, you will not be punished for such. I must confess that, yes, I have hated the Yankees.

Incredibly annoying Yankee fan at Commiskey 2

I am watching the damn Yankees tonight on YES, relishing every mistake they make, and I keep hearing (how could you miss it?) this annoying Yankee fan. Every pitch, "C'MON FARNSWORTH!!" ,every batter, "C'MON JETER!!!!" My dear asshole Yankee fan: Do you think they can actually hear you?

Why is the sound crew not buying this guy a better seat AWAY from the broadcast booth? I would go to him and say, "I will give you 500 bucks if you go sit in the nosebleed section!" Either that, or tell him he has an emergency call and then kick his ass and tell him he's not allowed to sit there. "C'MON MARIANO!!!" I just heard. Again.

I'm sure this is completely annoying for Yankme fans as well!!??

Sunday, May 28, 2006

A funny thing happened at the park

So there I was at the park and I saw my old girlfriend so I went over and sniffed her butt, which was pretty difficult, considering she was sniffing mine at the same time, but we got it done. After that, I caught the scent of another bitch's poop and proceeded to put my snout in it and then rub my back all over it...............wait a minute. Oh, no, that was my dog! I brought the little bastard to the park and let him do his business away from where people walk. That's because I ain't pickin' up no SHIT! I don't let him poop where people are ok? Anyhoo, I throw him the ball, he brings it back several times, it's all good. Then he smells something and then decides to dive in and roll around in it. Vile, week old poop or something like it is what I smelled when he got back in the car. I had half a mind to throw him into the pond, but then it would be wet old poop and so I decided to suffer on the way home and into the shower he went.

Why do they do that? "If I roll in shit, the bitches will be all over me!!" he must thought?? This is why dogs will never be president.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Markie Post was HOT!






Night Court. You remember the show. This woman had the greatest legs ever. Beautiful face. Beautiful woman. Ugh.

Sorry about 5 times wit da pic, but I don't know how to do this stuff.

Kelly Ripa needs the stupid banged out of her

I am resisting any notion that she is hot, because she's got that bony chest and she shouldn't be hot, but she's cute and then she does dumb commercials and if somebody just banged the stupid out of her, then I wouldn't.. I don't know. I don't know. It seems like she just does stupid commercials and she's just asking for penis.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

FYI Bonds wins the "asshole contest"

I did a Google search, putting Bonds in the "exact phrase" box and asshole in the "with all the words" box. Then I changed the Bonds to Griffey.
The results:

Bonds: 346,000 pages
Griffey: 15,000 pages

I'm not rainman but it looks like a lot more people think of Bonds as an a hole ; )

And on a good note, Junior goes yard!

Ken Griffey Jr. , I hope, hits a thousand home runs because he is a nice guy and he ain't cheatin'. Do a Google search with the words: "Bonds , asshole" and "Griffey, asshole" and I guarantee you that it will be 20 to 1. Griffey deserves praise, Bonds does not. I love Junior and feel so sad for him that he has missed so many games due to injury. He also has the most perfect swing in baseball.

The difference between Bonds and Pujhols

Bonds is what, 42? Pujhols is 25? It's not amazing for a 25 yr. old to have 21 homers at this point. It is amazing when a 40 yr. old does that. Not amazing, suspicious. Furthermore, "pre-additive" Mark McGwire had 33 home runs at the All Star break when he was young and skinny and played with Oakland. He ended up with less than fifty, I think.
The point is, if Poopholes hits 73 homers this year, that does not vindicate Bonds' cheating. I'm sure all the Bonds lovers are ready to say, "See, it's possible to hit 73 home runs in a year!" NOT WHEN YOU'RE FORTY!!!!!!!!!!! When most players can't even hit .250 at that point. It may be that Albert is the next Babe Ruth, but that it no way exonerates Bonds' misdeeds.
Every power hitter shows a decline in home runs after 35 yrs. old. Explain to me how Bonds hit more homers AFTER 35 than before?

I believe that Alex Rodriguez is mentally ill

What the heck was that tonight? He hits a home run and looks straight up like it's a popup and he's looking left and right for the ball and finally realizes it's out of the park. WTF? He did the same thing last year or the year before, where he hit one out and thought it was popped up. He is one strange bird.

I think that he is so pressurized by the New York scene that he is so tight in big spots. He is a wonderfully gifted ballplayer, but gets all screwed up with the pressure. I feel sorry for him.

Monday, May 22, 2006

And ANOTHER thing that makes Bonds an asshole!

What is up with the armour on his right arm? There's no armor in baseball!!! Do you know why he has that? So that he can hang out over the plate to reach the pitches on the outside part of the plate. He has no fear about that because his elbow is fully protected. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT? There are probably only a handful of players who have this protection which should be illegal, btw. Part of being a batter is to be man enough to take your licks once in a while. Bonds is a faggot sissy coward and I hate him! Find every way to cheat that you can you asshole and then when you win, smile that everyone is kissing your cowardly ass! FUCK YOU! YOU EVIL BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, May 19, 2006

F U Yankees and the closer you came in on!!!!!!!!!!

HOW SWEET IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!! The Mets came into this game with the starting rotation missing two to injury and are down 4 to zip against Randy Johnson. Game over, right? Not! Randy is struggling lately, which is lovely in itself and it was so nice of him to suck tonight. The best part is that Mariano who is THE MAN was beaten by my Mets! The Mets and their fans are tired of being the ugly stepchild. I hate the damn Yankees and they can't lose enough for me. I respect Mariano immensely and it is so sweet because all of the asshole Yankee fans are crying in their beer tonight!!!!!!!!!!HA HA!!!! Hey Yankee fans FUCK YOU!

Pedro tomorrow and Glavine Sunday. Oh, wait a minute......do you smell something? Yeah.................I think it smells like a ............SWEEP!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Stephen A Smith makes (insert name) sound like Uncle Tom



Please watch this idiot. PLEASE!!! I can't take it anymore. He starts interviewing an African American (pc) and he all up in his face yo and every syllable is blasted out with the force to spit up a loogy that's hanging on your lip because you didn't spit it out hard enough in the first place and as the interview goes on, you see the person he's interviewing is just speaking normally (yes, normally, i.e. "no chip on the shoulder, I'll rip your head off if you look at me the wrong way" normally)and then Stephen tones down the "puking" every word out. He is SUCH a phony. PLEASE WATCH!! Help a white brother out here! Help a black brother as well, because he is a disgrace to his race. Be yourself, be honest and stop being a phony dick!

Here's an excerpt from Paula Zahn talking to Smith, one of several guests:

ZAHN: There have been some studies done over the years which show that there are biological differences between African-Americans and whites that would show in some cases superior athletic ability. Now some people said that's a bunch of bunk. Do you think there's any truth? SMITH: There may be some truth to those studies. But when you hear people alluding to it, the reason why the issue of race comes into the equation is because of the underlying issues involved with that. Sometimes people say it based out of sheer ignorance. Other times they are saying it to highlight one's athletic ability while at the same time diminishing their intellectual capacities. A lot of times when you speak to a lot of athletes, or if you talk to a lot of black individuals involved in the world of sports, people who couldn't get into the positions of -- an executive position like a GM, like a president or what have you, some of the things that they allude to is everybody is always commenting on our physical prowess and not giving us enough credit for our cerebral prowess. And that's a problem for them, because a lot of times you look at -- I know me personally, somebody questions my intellect, I'm going to have a problem with them. And sometimes you listen to people speak and they try to point to one's athletic prowess simultaneously trying to take away from their intellectual capacity. And that's where it gets highly sensitive. That's why you shouldn't touch it.

Huh? It was a straightforward question and the convoluted answer...........moron.

Monday, May 15, 2006

I was getting wood watching the Travel Channel

They were showing some "natives" somewhere in the jungle and I just couldn't wait until they show the womens!!! The womens!!! And there they were! The breastisists kinda looked liked a pastry bag that one would use to put frosting on a cake with, but all the frosting's gone.....Ok, so I was hoping for Halle Berry, but it just didn't happen. And neither did the wood. I was just joshing to get you all to read! Ubange women are not hot in any way, shape or form. period.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

It's just a matter of time until Ichiro is lured by the Evil Empire

At some point in time he will be on the Yankees. It is inevitable. King George will put on that Emperor hooded robe and put on some creepy makeup and weird teeth and say, "You underestimate the power of the dark side" and Ichiro will give in. I know what you're thinking, that King George should be Darth Vader. No. Darth Vader was a manly villain and George is kinda wimpy looking, like the Emperor.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Men are thinly veiled dogs

So here I am at the computer and my dog is getting all frantic and climbing onto the couch, looking out the window and making sounds like, "I gotta get her! AAAAAGGGHHH!!!" (simulated dog sound). I then realized that I am feeling the same way he does, it's just that it's not proper to bark at hot women and jump up and down and drool. Even though that's what I feel like doing.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Danica Patrick may need to be boinked and I know just the guy to do it.

Let me preface my comments by saying that I have no interest in NASCAR, if that's what it's called (I hear that on the commercials, "It's NNNNNNNNNNNNascar!!!") I know she's been in magazines and it's well documented.
Now, here she is on the YES network being interviewed, and this guy with an English accent, axes her a question, and, instead of just answering the question she says, "Are you from England?" . Now, keep in mind here that I think that any woman aspiring to compete with men has a little unbalance in the whole estrogen/testosterone thing. So, I'm expecting her to be a little 'bull dykish'. That is so cool that she axed him that. And then I'm looking at her calves with the nice definition and I feel an ever so slight tingling in my nether region (spidey senses tingling). I try to fight it because I don't want no guy to be beat by no girl, but there it is. She can hang around, as long as she sucks. Literally. But, to her credit, she is no Janet Guthrie.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Albert's Poophole is en fuego!!!!

Albert Pujhols is knocking the ball all over the place. Good for him. That's all I have say about it. I just wanted you to see my nickname for him. It's copywrighted.

Isn't it ironic...don't ya think, Barry?

And it's a long fly ball, could be #714 to tie Babe Ruth and............it's gone!!!! Over the fence, but wait!!! No! It's caught!!! Isn't it fitting that what would have been the home run to tie the Babe, was snatched away from Bonds by the center fielder. I'm not making this up! It actually happened last night. Now how about snatching away about a hundred or so homers brought about by steroids? Bonds is a cheater, let's all line up and kiss his ass. I almost wish he played for the Mets and I was in the crowd when he came up and with my Mets hat on I would boo him roundly when he would come up. And after his 714th tainted home run, I would sit while every other weak idiot would stand and applaud the un..applaudable, if that's a word. I'm just sick about this. "Where have ya gone, Ken Griffey Jr., a nation (that is fed up with steroid cheaters) turns it lonely eyes to you, ooh ooh ooh, what's that ya say, Mrs. Robison?, "Junior's on the disabled list again, When when when ,when when when?" Junior should be the guy chasing the record but has spent one fourth of his playing career on the DL, it seems like.

Monday, May 08, 2006

That's so Fat! and unfunny (Raven)

That's so Raven. That's so unfunny and stupid. Here is a child star on the Cosby show who is so starving for attention, sadly, very sadly, that she is now vamping in an unfunny, black Lucille Ball recreation. It is sad that someone who was funny and cute as a 6 yr. old thinks that she is automatically funny at 16 or so. She is fat and unattractive and I'm sure she's totally unaware of this, because she is surrounded with people who kiss her ass daily. It's a trainwreck, really.

Stephen A. Smith is the black Jim Rome

What a dick! He's talking with some athlete tonight and he's such a phony, puking false enthusiasm idiot that whoever he's talking to has to pretend that he's not an idiot to promote his thing.

Jim Rome is a white guy that often tries to speak "black". Years ago, he had an episode on his show where he was interviewing Jim Everett, a QB, and he called him, "Chris Everett" a woman tennis player. Jim challenged him to repeat the comment, and Rome did, and Everett attacked him on film.

Both of these guys are sad figures who want to be loved. "Love me daddy!" type of thing.

It's just so embarassing to watch Smith do this.

Why I hate the NBA....Shaq

Roger Clemens is a baseball whore

Clemens went to the Blue Jays when the Sox management thought he was washed up. Fine. Then he went to the Evil Empire. I don't know how you can do that when you were with the Sox so long, their letting you go nothwithstanding. Roger was a huge part of the Sox. Anyhoo, then he "retires" and Yankee fans give him a royal sendoff. And a few months later, "Oh, just kidding, I want to hang with Pettite in Houston. And then he retires again and now he's deciding which team will make his ego feel good. I don't like him and can't stand him and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
He beaned Mikey!!!!!!!! He's a coward. Let him do that in the NL!! How much headhunting has he done in the NL, hmmmm????? Look at his Macy's Thanksgiving Day float head. Tell me he ain't doing the juice! Compare him to '86. His head was half the size!
I don't like Clemens at all and he's a big fairy that takes steroids. My opinion.

John Kruk should be a Major League manager!!

I love to watch "Baseball tonight" and Krukkie always hits the nail on the head about every team and player and should be a manager. Jeff Brantley is another one that knows the game inside and out. Steve Philips is not so great. Left my Mets in mediocrity. Thanks!

Saturday, May 06, 2006

So there I was at Sonic enjoying a..........

So there I was at Sonic, "oh yeah, it's Sonic good!" and I couldn't decide between all those yummy things they show on the commercials. You know why I couldn't decide? Because there are no Sonics within 500 miles of here!! Stop tempting me with these commercials. You know what I'm talkin' about!!

I admire Steve Nash for his playing and singing

I admire Nash because he is playing a black man's sport and excelling at it. It is very hard for the white man to compete in basketball as the white man cannot jump as high, run as fast, etc. as the black man. Black people kick our white asses in pure athleticism. There are exceptions, of course. Baseball. Us whiteys can hold our own in baseball. But basketball, fuggedaboutit!

It's amazing that Nash can also have a top hit, "You're Beautiful". I wonder if jumping into the water at the end of that video is in violation of the terms of his contract?

Image adding attempt



Hi, here's me blogging:

Ok, so, I don't know how to do this. I'm learning though. I'm new at this shit! That does not look anything like me except for the red eyes. I added an "ass chin" just for fun :). Oh yeah, and I don't have an afro.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Because the P.C. Police are watching I have to say John Rocker was an asshole

PSYCHE!!! There are no PC Police!!!!uhh... at least not yet. Our right to free speech is being attacked every day, but I digress. I am a Mets fan that bleeds blue and orange. I hated Rocker when he pitched for the Braves because he was so good. When all this stuff about him came out about who he wouldn't sit on the train with, ya know, he has a right to say that. Everyone has the right to free speech. He could have said Hitler was right and agreed with everything he did. I would vehemently disagree with him and tell him how harmful that speech would be, but as John Henry said 200 plus years ago, "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." This is America. Free speech makes people look at what they do and ask themselves if it's right. What if Rocker's views of racism were "right" and the gov't wouldn't allow you to disagree?

The allure of Steph is because of her legs and horny guys and jealous chicks

Steph is reasonably interesting and is from the outback, which rates on the hot scale, but being a woman, she needs to write so much that one has to 'scroll down' to read the whole post. I just don't have all that time.

Quite Frankly I fake the black speak. Martina Navritolova

Stephen F. Smith, the "F" is for fake, was interviewing Navritolova tonight and he is throwing the overmodulated:" I'm from the hood and have to be in your face when I'm talking to you"speech at her and she's answering very politely to this clown. It's almost like a candid camera or a "Punk'd" episode and you're waiting for the punchline. That's how bad it was. He be all up in ha face, yo and she be ...changing the frequency and answering the questions. She said a lot of good things about being healthy and I was liking it and about halfway through, he started speaking like a Jewish accountant, even though I have never met one and don't know what he would sound like, but, he lost the "black speak" and then when the commercial came he was back to puking out the overmodulation. What a phony piece of no talent he is. Siiiiiiiiiigh.
Just be real. Keep it real, dog! Stop being a phony dick.

Best Damn had the best blowups. Best blowups are the best guys

The biggest blowup show has players who blew up at the media or in a game. Players don't blow up unless they are passionate about what they do. Let me qualify that. Some have a short fuse and have to overreact (Ron Artest) which means they have "issues", which is understandable, many athletes have issues, but if so, one needs to deal with them. Coaches that are included are among the greats. The whole point is, if you don't care, you don't blow up. Knight, Pinella, Levy (he got them there four years in a row.Who has done that? 3 of the 4 they were underdogs, I think? Give him some love. He deserves it. This is from a Jets fan)

I love the Bobby Knight quote where he says something to the effect of: "I want to be buried upside down so that all of my critics can kiss my ass!" Knight doesn't care what people think, he does what he believes is best. Sometimes he misses his mark, but you must respect his drive to do what's right.

Hal MacRae was #1. Ranting about something his players did and the questions about it. I think he won a batting title with the Royals and I liked him as a player, but I love that he is passionate about the way his players play.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Hannah Montana

I don't know how to word this without being creepy, but I think the Didney Channel employs girls (and I mean "girls") who exude a certain, well...... if you've seen the show you know what I mean and I think they know well what they're doing. Girls at that age shouldn't be displayed the way they are by said channel. Put some clothes on, young lady! It's not just the clothes, it's...........you know what I'm saying!!!! Let's put it this way: reminiscent of Britney Spears flaunting while underaged. There. How's that?

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Barry Bonds is an attention whore

So I'm watching baseball tonight and this blurb comes on the screen about Bonds hit in head by foul ball and I see him laying on the ground being attended by trainers, etc. and I'm thinking, "This is some ploy to get out of playing as he's done over the last year". I see later the video of him getting "hit" and it was a case of him leaning against the cage and the ball hitting the net and then, I think, the bill of his cap. At any rate, he is still standing, walking around and wincing, as if to say, "Ow, that hurt." but he didn't drop to the ground as if he were injured. Have you noticed also that he is talking to the press and trying to be cute and funny? He is Bill Clinton in a baseball uniform. A disingenuous, lying, cheating, fucking asshole.

Can someone tell Michael Kay how to pronounce "Rodriguez"?

Every time I watch the Bankees and I hear Michael Kay say, "Alex Rah Dreegez" I get agita. Three syllables, not too hard, "ROD REE GEZ" not "RAH DREE GEZ". You dick!!! I hate you I hate you!!!!!!!!! Why don't you just announce every half hour that you are an idiot that is paid to speak, but doesn't know how. Moron.