Random Shiite

I ran out of oil. How do I start my furnace? I have asked the same. This is what I know about it.

2010-01-03T17:34:00.000-08:00

Sigh. "I ran out of oil." I've said that too many times. I am a dumbass. You're smiling. Good. It's frustrating as hell to not be able to start your furnace, especially when it's 20 degrees out and windy!
Disclaimer: WARNING! I AM NOT AN HVAC TECHNICIAN. I AM NOT LICENSED IN ANYTHING DEALING WITH YOUR PROBLEM. IF YOU DO SOMETHING WRONG, IT COULD RESULT IN YOUR HOUSE BURNING, INJURY OR EVEN DEATH! MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, IF NOT GET A PROFESSIONAL! I AM A DO IT YOURSELFER, THAT IS ALL.
Now that we've got that out of the way:
Ok. When you run out of oil, the last few ounces travel through that tube that comes out of your oil tank under the concrete and up to your furnace. Kinda like when you drink a soda from McD's, you're sucking air. The furnace recognizes this, that there's no flame and shuts down. The magic red light comes on on the restart button on your furnace. So you put on your Superman cape and push the button. You hear the air rushing in for a few seconds and then the thingy that pumps the oil into the burner. If you don't hear the "whooooom" sound of "fire" it will run for a few seconds and shut off. Now, I've heard that you shouldn't push this button more than a couple few times as some fumes can build up and...... well. Not good. I'm guilty of pushing the button too much. I'm lucky I'm alive, I guess ;) So, now, you put 2 and 2 together and get 5 and you walk over to the oil tank and it says , O as in zero. You say a bad word and think, "I thought we could go two more weeks!!!" Now you have to explain to your wife how stupid you were, but you change the story so you're not at fault. Could be your furnace is full of soot, but more on that later...
   Ok, so now you call the oil man. "We ran out of oil and I need a delivery." "Do you need a startup?" A "startup" means that he will come downstairs and (for a fee of 35 bucks) bleed your line. "Bleeding the line", what the heck does that mean?? When you sucked all of the soda out of your cup, you just go refill it and then suck on it and voilla! you have soda in your mouth. It doesn't work like this in your oil burning system, unfortunately. What happens is your oil pump that is on your furnace (the thing that goes when you push the magic red button) starts sucking from the line from your tank. The only thing is, air is expandable. Much more so than liquid. So it "stretches" the air until the burner says, "I see no oil, I'm shuttin' down." and then the air "springs back" and you never get anywhere. That's my theory, not a fact that I know of:) So what you gotta do is get a flat head screwdriver and unscrew this little black (on mine it's black) "bleeder valve". Oh yeah, get a pan to put under it as oil will eventually drip out. Probably a good idea to wear some rubber gloves unless you don't mind getting oil on your hands. Anyhoo, when you unscrew this thing, you will see some little oil bubbles. Wait until you get a "drip drip drip" and tighten it back up and try the magic red button. This may not work on the first try. Open it again and you might see some more bubbles and then the drip. Try again. If it starts, thank God. If it doesn't, you could try again. Like I said before, be careful. If you're impatient, you could loosen the brass colored hex head thingy on the pump and that seems to allow quicker expulsion of air in the line. Don't forget to tighten it later:) Now, that tube, or "line" is kinda long and is full of air, so you have to get it all out.
    If you don't get any bubbles or drip, you may have a blockage in your system that is not allowing oil to get to the burner. In the bottom of your oil tank is sludge. Sludge is produced, I believe, from moisture and fuel and impurties. It's like black mud. When you have a lot of oil, sludge is not that big of a problem. The oil and very tiny bits of sludge normally flow through the hole in the bottom of your tank. The filter coming out of your tank takes out most of this gunk. Now, when you only have a gallon of oil or so left, the sludge sees this as an opportunity to ooooze into that hole. Most of the time, this is NOT the problem (judging from the several times I have run out:) ). One time it was. I was not getting any oil at the burner, even after bleeding it. I changed the oil filter next to the tank. No good. I turned the valve off under the tank. By the way, these valves are opposite what you think. It's not like the water spigot on your house which you turn counterclockwise to open, you turn clockwise to open. It's weird! To make it easy, when you feel the "screw" coming through the "twisty thing" it's opening up. When the "twisty thing" falls off, it's closed. But don't screw it that far! When its loose in your fingers, it's closed, in other words. DO NOT USE A WRENCH on this thing. I did and ruined it! Fingers only!!
   So, as I said, I wasn't getting any oil flow from the tank. I closed the tank "petcock aka twisty thing" and removed the filter housing. With a pan underneath, I opened the petcock. It should have flowed like a cow taking a piss, but it lightly dripped. Not good!! If you haven't screwed up your petcock by using a wrench on it, you could open it up and stick some flexible thing in there to try and loosen up the sludge. Not a wire hanger, something flexible, like maybe an old cord from a vacuum cleaner (you'll have to cut the end off, dummy!). I've never done that, mind you, but I'm guessing it might work. If you remember, I screwed up the petcock and had to buy another one at the plumbing supply store. They don't have these at hardware stores or Lowes or Home Depot, so don't waste your time going there! Now, if you do have to unscrew this petcock thing, if you have 275 gallons in your tank, keep in mind that you could end up with 275 gallons on your floor!!!!!!!!! Nightmare! I did it when I only had a few gallons in the tank. When I did unscrew it, it was only dripping. I stuck a wooden spoon in the hole and HELLO! here comes the oil flying out! I quickly screw the new petcock thing into the hole. Be patient if you do this. If you crossthread it, your f***ed! I wouldn't change this unless you are daring. Call the professional. I got the sucker to fire up after that however. I was very proud of my bad self.
    If you run out of oil and ain't got no money to buy the 150 gallons until payday, they tell me you can use diesel fuel, which is pretty much the same thing as heating oil. They actually put a red dye into heating oil to prevent truckers from using it. Apparently, the tax on diesel is higher. If a cop sees a red dye in the trucker's "diesel", it's a fine. That's what I understand. Again I am not an expert. If you do put diesel in your fill pipe, keep in mind that you need enough so that the liquid level is higher than the "bleeder" at the burner. It's a gravity feed and if the level of fuel is lower than where you are bleeding it, it won't flow. I had to put like 12 gallons or so before the level of fuel was high enough to allow me to bleed the air out. Strange but true.
   The thing that happened to me this morning is that I had the guy come out to start my furnace cause I couldn't do it, even with all my tricks. He came out on New Years day. He took the pump cover off and assorted other maintenance things. He got it going, but he said he didn't "like the flame". It was burning too rich. He used the nozzel they specified in the manual, but he said it was running too "rich". "Rich" means too much fuel in proportion to the air. "Lean" means too little fuel in proportion to the air. He told me, you need to get someone out here to clean out your furnace. There's a lot of soot in there. I was like, "Ok." I was thinking, "yeah, right give me some money to pay for it". So, I was happy that it was running. Two days later, this morning, my wife says she smelled something. I go downstairs and I could smell nasty smoke. I open the little "window", the thing on the furnace with a wingnut on a metal flap that rotates, and some flames are shooting out with some black smoke!! I shut off the emergency shutoff switch (that red switch at the top of the basement stairs) and cough a bit and call him up to explain what happened. He said he'll be out at noon.
   I think about it and I'm thinking, "It's the old potato in the tailpipe trick!" In old movies, they would put a potato in the tailpipe of a car if they wanted their enemy's car to stall. You see, if the exhaust fumes can't get out, they choke up the whole system! The fact that smoke was SHOOTING out of there, there was a lot of pressure that wasn't being released through the chimney. So I did my best Dick Van Dyke impersonation in Mary Poppins and popped off the front cover of my Pensotti boiler and took off the burner black plate, burner and all (WAIT UNTIL IT'S COOL!! DUH!) and saw a bunch of soot that was clogging up the works! I was surprised. Soot accumulates more than you think. I brushed off as much soot as I could, buttoned it all up and started the furnace. SUCCESS! To a certain degree. It wasn't puking out smoke anymore, it was only a little bit. Still the smoke should be invisible, not black. I called him with my Buckwheat hands and told him, "I got it running and it's not smoking anymore. I cleaned out the soot." He said he was on my street already and just wanted to see how it was running. He still didn't like how rich it was burning. He changed the nozzle from a .75 to a.65 but that didn't work, so he put the .75 back in. Oh yeah, if your thing ain't burning well, you should change the nozzle. Nozzles make a nice "spray" that makes it easier to ignite. If your nozzle is clogged, it may not spray nicely or not at all. You can't clean these things, I hear. Don't use a needle, you'll just screw it up. Just take the one you have and bring it to the store and show them. They are under ten bucks, I think. Anyway, he didn't charge me anything and monkeyed around with the air settings and got it running perfect. Nice guy.
   So, I've covered all my experiences with this stuff. I don't know anything but what I've learned. I wrote this because I was like you, looking for help online and someone else wrote info like I'm doing. If you're stuck and need a shoulder to cry on, I might be able to help. Email me at musicmensch68@gmail.com If this helped you, I would love to hear about it so I don't think that I wasted my time. If you're like me, you won't email me. That's ok. I'm glad I helped you. I've been there,done that. Good luck, we're all counting on you.
TJBJB

ESPN has become so gay. Soccer. blufshsc(vomit sound)

2009-06-24T21:11:00.002-07:00

I'm looking at baseball tonight and they are reviewing the gay soccer tourney. I'm like, "wtf???" I cannot begin to say how gay soccer is and how much I hate that these faggot liberals at ESPN put soccer on a level with real sports. FUCK YOU ESPN!!! STOP FAGGING UP OUR KIDS TO PLAY A GAME THAT RETARDS CAN PLAY!!! CAN A RETARD DO A HIT AND RUN? DOES A RETARD KNOW WHAT PITCH TO THROW TO ALBERT PUJHOLS? DOES A RETARD KNOW TO RUN TO FIRST BASE INSTEAD OF THIRD? I THINK NOT. IF A RETARD CAN PLAY A GAME, IT IS NOT A GAME THAT CHALLENGES PEOPLE TO USE THEIR FUCKING BRAINS. IN OTHER WORDS YOU ARE TURNING OUR COUNTRY TO SHIT AND TO TEACH OUR KIDS THAT THEY ARE NOTHING MORE THAN STUPID NATIVES IN AFRICA. FUCK SOCCER!

Stupid quizzes on Facebook(do you remember these cartoons??)

2009-06-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

If you're a person that likes challenges, you like being quizzed. And if you are being quizzed you would like it to not be so easy that every question is a "slam dunk". I am shocked and saddened that this stupid quiz has apparently been passed along by lazy Americans to others to the tune of 2 MILLION times. If I took this quiz, I would be like, "wtf?" this is way too easy. Apparently, people in this country, I can't really say that, it may be abroad to English speaking people, but have we sunk that low, that we actually draw some pleasure out of not being challenged AT ALL????? Disgraceful.

I'm so pissed off right now that I can't even post!

2009-06-12T22:33:00.000-07:00

My fucking keyboard is black. I had a white keyboard until one of my kids spilled something on it. I was surprised when the guilty party owned up to it. "I did it" said he. I was impressed with his honesty. I said to him................uh, you know that's bullshit. NOBODY DID IT! It would take CSI to figure this out.

So, it's black. I do most of my typing in the dark. I have a prob with numbers. I can't see them on a black keyboard! I am going to get whiteout and mark the most important keys so I can see them.

One thing leads to another by the Fixx (how I sing it)

2009-05-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

The real lyrics are:

The deception with tact, just what are you trying to say?
You've got a blank face, which irritates
Communicate, pull out your party piece
You see dimensions in two
State your case with black or white
But when one little cross leads to shots, grit your teeth
You run for cover so discreet, why don't they:

The way I always sang it(because this is how it sounded to me):
The deception which tied, just what are trying to say?
You got a black face, chewy tits,
Lempa say fa feva Pocratease etc.

I always thought they said, "Chewy tits". Really!

Can we stop kissing Jackie Robinson's ass already????????

2009-04-15T16:01:00.000-07:00

What the fuck is up with this constant ass kissing of Jackie Robinson? Fine, he was the first black player. Great! We all acknowledged that and thought it was great that people should not be shunned because they are black. We get it!!!! Do we have to vomit praise all the time for this player? I could see the Mets or Dodgers retiring his number as the Mets are a "byproduct" of the Brooklyn Dodgers. Why don't ALL PLAYERS wear 42 ALL THE TIME to kiss his ass further. How about EVERY stadium be named, "Jackie Robinson Stadium". How about making every player change his name to Jackie Fucking Robinson and play in "blackface" to honor him??? And every person who comes to the game should be in "blackface", and all the announcers too and the umps. How about requiring every MLB player to get plastic surgery to get as close as you can to looking like the great Jackie Robinson? And no players can be drafted unless they have plastic surgery to look like him. And finally, EVERYONE in America has to change their name to "Jackie Robinson". Even the women can feel comfortable, because "Jackie" can be a woman's name too. He was so great, he even took care of that. ALL HAIL THE BLESSED NAME OF OUR GOD, JACKIE ROBINSON!!!

United States defeats Puerto Rico!

2009-03-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

This game was similar to the feeling that I had when the United States beat the Soviet Union in the Miracle on Ice! When the USA beat U.S.S.R or Soviet Union, Russia that was the single best sporting event. Tonight was reminiscent on a small scale for the political meaning.

It's obvious what the political meaning was for the "Miracle on Ice".

The meaning for me was the "justice" of the United States defeating those from our territory, Puerto Rico, who have been sponging off of hard working Americans when they are on welfare. There are many from PR who are wonderful people, but so many who come to the States to leech off of the system. Those who do it, be honest, that is what you are doing.

It is evil to do that, to leech off of a system.

Those guys don't look "Dutch"!!!!

2009-03-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

The Netherlands team is comprised of people who do not fit the description of "Dutch". What's up wit dat? These are not "Dutch" players, they are transplanted from everywhere else. The reason I am saying this is that everyone is fawning over the Dutch upsetting the Domican Republic. So the picture that they want in people's minds is Hans Christian Anderson times nine in wooden shoes defeating the Goliath of D.R. I am willing to bet that not one of these starters was born in the Netherlands. The US team is, of course, comprised of people whose ancestors were from many countries, but we make no pretense of that. I dunno, maybe everybody is copying us. Freakin' Dutch.

My battery died and my Honda radio doesn't work code ?

2009-02-06T19:46:00.000-08:00

My dear people, I see that most hits to my blog are about my Honda radio not working. Here is my experience. My battery went dead. I got a jump and tried to turn on my radio. It said, "code.." I'm like, "what????" Apparently, Honda, in their infinite wisdom, put a "anti theft" thing in your radio, that , when, your radio is stolen and thereby loses power, it needs a "code" to work. That "code" is given to the Honda owner when buying the car and is written on your owner's manual, I think. Sometimes, I've heard that five digit code will be written inside the glove box or on the bottom of your ashtray. If not, apparently, if you give your VIN number to the dealer, they can punch it up on the computer and find your "code". I did that. The code did not work. Apparently, the previous owner's (my) radio was stolen and replaced. Soooooo, in order for them to give me the code, they needed the serial number of the radio which is on a label on the radio.

Here's the tricky part: you have to take the radio out to see the serial #. In order to do that properly, you have to get in there and take all kinds of things apart. I said, "funk dat!!" I removed the "coin tray" under the radio and tried to unscrew the bracket that holds the radio in place. Apparently, it ain't that easy. The brackets are somewhere behind the radio. I just put a flat head screwdriver (redneck alert!!) on the side of the radio and wedged it out enough that I could see the serial number. Needless to say, I bent the bracket to the point I couldn't seat the radio back in. It hangs out about 3 eighths of an inch but it works!!

So, when you get the serial number, you bring that in to the service dept. at your local Honda dealer. I have read online that they would charge you for the info, but they gave me the code free of charge. My advice is: Show them the serial number. If they don't give you the number for free, go to the next nearest dealer until you get it. I had no problem. Don't let these bastards charge you.

Barbara Boxer is like your mother in law (a FUCKING BITCH!!)

2009-02-06T19:25:00.000-08:00

Alright, I'm trying to load an image, but my fucking bitch mother in law wanna be, Boxer is blocking it somehow. Ok, I'm sorry, Barbie, it was me. I am retarded about loading images. At any rate, I was able to upload an image of Satan on the right. Now, do you see the similarities? Yes, the eyebrows! But the similarities are not facial, but internal. What do we know about Satan? Class???? He is the Father of what????? .........................C'mon................work with me here......... LIES!!! Yes!!!! My Mother in Law, er, Barbie Boxer went head to head with Sen. Graham about the Porkulus,.....er Stimulus Package with bull dookies. She is evil. Case closed.

Representative Jim Moran is an idiot!

2009-02-03T15:56:00.000-08:00

He reportedly said, which I can't believe that anyone could actually say this, but, "We have been guided by a republican administration who believes in this simplistic notion that people who have wealth are entitled to keep it." Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Excuse me???? What the hell is he talking about? That is indicative of how far out of touch Democrats are, or how twisted and unAmerican their views are. Not only unAmerican, unGodlike! So you are going to steal their money Mr. Representative? Disgraceful. Completely.

Earn more sessions... We the people are lazy with our speech!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-30T19:58:00.000-08:00

http://www.listal.com/video/8551380

I invite you all to look at that link because I am too retarded to know how to post vids on my blog. It's Steve Martin in "Roxanne" talking thru the door and Roxanne can't hear him.

If I say to you from across the room, "You're gonna shut down the compressor, so it's not running all weekend, right?" and you think I said, "You're gonna talk to Vanessa, and see if she's coming this weekend, Dwight!" and you don't want to be the asshole and say "what?"( because if you don't hear someone, in our world, it's somehow YOUR fault) so you say,with a goofy smile, "OK!!". You are totally unsure of what I said and the tip off should have been that your name is not "Dwight", and you don't even know anyone by the name, "Vanessa", but being as you don't want to appear like you're an asshole for not "hearing" me, you smile and nod, "OK!!!". Sad.

Maybe the captain of the Titanic heard, "VICEROY IN THE HEAD!!!" rather than "ICEBERG, DEAD AHEAD!!!" and thought that there were cigarettes available in the bathroom and therefore took no action to avoid it.

The point is that we are exceedlingly lazy as a people and when we can't hear something someone says, there are a possible three reasons why: the hearer is hard of hearing, the speaker is not speaking loudly enough or the speaker is mumbling. The fault lies with the speaker, in any of the three cases. If the "hearer" is , in fact, "deef", it is incumbent on the speaker to speak LOUDLY or more clearly. The "hearer" can not "hear" better, so the speaker must make up for it.

So, be a dick and insist that people enunciate. Somebody has to do it, damn it!

I think the cash cab "dumbs it down" for blacks

2009-01-14T15:40:00.000-08:00

So, I'm watching the Cash Cab. I see these people get in that are white, and look like intellectuals. I try to answer the questions. I get maybe one or two. Next up, a black guy. Ben starts asking questions and I'm answering pretty much all of these softball questions. I think, "What's wrong with this picture?". Our African American brothers complain about racial profiling, but isn't this racial profiling in reverse? I believe that this is a liberal thing to make black people appear more intelligent than the rest of us. That is insulting to black people. They are saying, "Oh, he's black, let's give him easy questions to help him out." Liberals. The scourge of America.

Our Lord and Saviour, Barack Obama (we are in very deep shit!)

2008-11-04T19:53:00.000-08:00

I expect to be punished by the Savior for posting this. In fact, you probably won't see any more posts from me, because free speech is not allowed under his regime. Get ready for a world of shit. You have no idea what is going to happen. Just get ready for it. As for you brain dead people who voted for him, fuck you! And thanks for fucking it up for the rest of us. Dickheads!

My furnace won't start

2008-10-24T16:09:00.000-07:00

Ok, here's the deal. My oil furnace won't start. Can't get it started. I got it started. Ran out of oil, fuel, feul. I tried to start it, bleeding the air out. Something didn't seem right. I wasn't getting any oil coming out at the furnace. I went to the tank and the bowl was not filling up. Turns out, my valve was bad. Took the old valve off and very little is dripping out of the hole in the bottom of the tank! SLUDGE!!!! I had the new valve in hand and put a pliers handle into the hole to poke the sludge and HELLO!!!! Here comes the fuel. Screwed that sucker in and now I have heat. Do not underestimate the power of sludge to screw your life up!!!

I tried to upload the picture of the dad from a christmas story, but I don't know how. SADA BINGA!!!!

Keith Olbermann is an evil antichrist to our country

2008-10-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

I have never seen a person that has so much venom. I think he needs help. I really do.

Obama grandmother sick my ass!!

2008-10-21T21:31:00.000-07:00

Obama's grandmother is sick. Hmmm. Where did I hear this before???? Oh yeah!

Ed, I'm sorry, did you say
you wanted to see a body?
Yeah, roll her old bones over here
and I'll dig up your daughter.

If Republicans doubt his story they end up like Mr. Rooney. Bullshit ploy to garner votes.

Katie Couric is a jealous bitch (who would you do?)

2008-10-07T20:35:00.000-07:00

We all know that women are "catty". The "cattyness" grows exponentially when one hits the wall. Catty Couric has hit the wall VERY hard. She is jealous of Sarah Palin looking good. Add to that , that the liberal bitch hates Republicans.

Keith Olbermann is an angry bitch!!!

2008-10-07T20:07:00.000-07:00

What the fuck is wrong with Keith Oberman Olberman Olbermann? He is like the kid on the playground that gets picked on (wedgies and whatnot) that is hell bent on getting back at those who hurt him. He has SO much hate for Republicans! Like a seething hatred. What is wrong with this guy?
I used to think he was great on Espn many yrs. ago, but now he's turned into a spiteful hateful person and a cunt. Faggot!

Mets choke job posts I dun on Archie's Army

2008-09-29T19:38:00.000-07:00

I don't know if this is going to work, but I'm pasting, yo!

Tommyjoebillyjimbob said...

katherine, saying "In the cold light of day everyone knows they are the franchise going forward. And they're both great." talking about DW and JR is "laughable". Keith Hernandez was great. Kirk Gibson was great. Because when the game was on the line, you could count on those guys.
Having said that, the Mets can't part with them. Wright is learning (kinda like the WOPR in War Games) that he has to change. Reyes doesn't appear to get it yet.
Church is not the problem, despite his shitty performance. Keep in mind he just missed tying the game (how many of you thought it had a chance of being a home run when it came off the bat?? be honest!). He has big balls and made some bad (lotta) decisions on pitches, but that was not nerves. Jury is still out on him, IMHO.

2:56 AM

Tommyjoebillyjimbob said...

Katherine, saying "In the cold light of day everyone knows they are the franchise going forward. And they're both great." talking about DW and JR is "laughable". Keith Hernandez was great. Kirk Gibson was great. Because when the game was on the line, you could count on those guys.
Having said that, the Mets can't part with them. Wright is learning (kinda like the WOPR in War Games) that he has to change. Reyes doesn't appear to get it yet.
Church is not the problem, despite his shitty performance. Keep in mind he just missed tying the game (how many of you thought it had a chance of being a home run when it came off the bat?? be honest!). He has big balls and made some(lotta) bad decisions on pitches, but that was not nerves. Jury is still out on him, IMHO.

2:58 AM

Tommyjoebillyjimbob said...

sorry about the double post double post. i didn't know i was doing it doing it.

Tommy Two Times

btw, great music Arch!!!!

Joey Stivic (Stiwic? Stywyk?)

3:02 AM

katherine said...

tommyjoebillyjimbob (this is just like the Waltons!)

well, at least we agree on Ryan - I don't think he ever really got over those concussions and the effects of the time he had to take off. You can't judge him by this season's post injury performance.

I will remind you of something about the great Keith Hernandez - he was great - but in the bottom of the tenth inning of the sixth game of the 86 World Series, when the game was on the line, he made the second out in the inning. Kid, Kevin Mitchell, Ray Knight and Mookie were the clutchsters in that game.

3:11 AM

Tommyjoebillyjimbob said...

Ryan Howard is kinda like Delgado with more homers and a worse average with incredibly shitty fielding (yes, even worse than Delgado). The Phillies won because of their WILL to win. Their numbers are similar to the Mets. They WANT it. It comes down to the makeup of the players. Davey Johnson didn't say to Carter (who sucked in the Astros series until he manned up and got a winning hit), Kevin Mitchell and Knight to get hits against the Sox in Game 6, THEY wanted it!!!!! The Mets need a player who's got a pair. Lose Delgado.

3:12 AM

Tommyjoebillyjimbob said...

Well, hi Mary Ellen!!! Where's Johnboy??? I thought you said goodnight already!! You probably can't sleep because you are still thinking about our beloved Mets.

Listen, young lady, Keith made the second out in that tenth inning, hitting it deep (as deep as 17 could hit it) to center/right center field. He didn't choke there, he hit the ball well, so c'mon. Not only that, Ray hit a faggy handle shot just over second, unlike my fave, Keith. Big Balls by Ray, don't get me wrong, but...
Oh, and don't forget game 6 of the Astros series how Keith doubled in the ninth when they were down three!! He da man. give some love please Katherine.

3:21 AM

Tommyjoebillyjimbob said...

And another thing dammit!!! LISTEN UP METS FANS!!!!

CARLOS DELGADO IS A PHONY!!! Here's a guy that hits home runs but plays like shit in the field. He is the consummate "Emperor wearing no clothes" and everyone kisses his ass because he pulls his head out of his ass to hit monumental shots.

Early in this season he dragged the Mets down with his anemic fielding and shitty hitting. When Manuel came along and sat his lazy ass on the bench, he realizes that he will be embarassed, so he goes on a tear and strokes his own ego by doing stuff that no one can find fault with: fields like half a Keith (which is 10 times better than what he had done prior) and hits home runs at will. This is a man with GREAT home run power, but is retarded. That's it. He's kinda like a car that has great power but when you have to get on the freeway, you push the pedal and.......nuttin. FU Delgado, you suck@!

3:34 AM

Mets choke, or not, bullpen, ur mom etc

2008-09-26T20:29:00.000-07:00

The Mets have lost tonight and the Brew Crew has won. Ironically,that is better for the Mets("Should we put on the runway lights?? Kramer: "No, that's just what they're expecting us to do!" (Airplane humor) Don't you see? Chokers hate to be ahead in any race. If they are ahead, there is SO much more pressure on them and the team that is behind has no pressure. Clever strategy by the Mets.....hmmmmm.

I would put a really funny picture from (Airplane) but I'm too pooped, ok?? Ok, beer.........blahhhhhhhh get off me!

The Mets did not choke in 2008

2008-09-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

I bet my son a week ago that the Mets would not make the playoffs. I said, "My five bucks against your 1 buck that they will not..." Up until last night, I believed that they would not make it. Last year, the offense choked because it was so great all yr. and failed down the stretch. This yr. the offense, most of the same players, produced, sometimes poorly, but they produced, sometimes bigtime! It is so hard for one part of the team to make up for the shitty part of the "other" team. Case in point: Giants. The Giants won the Superbowl (tm) by their defense. Their defense was SO dominant that they made up for Eli's average shit (that's another blog).
I do not look at this yr. as a "choke job", because the Mets did not have a good bullpen. It is NOT on the offensive players. Clearly, there are some who are "choking" in the bullpen, namely: Heilmann Heilman. I feel very sorry for him as he has great stuff, but he looks so scared out there. The other pitchers just suck, except for Joe Smith, who really cares.

It's like bringing a car to the inspection station and you are hoping to God that he doesn't notice that your emergency brake doesn't work and your turn signals, etc., the Mets have so many holes, but so many opportunities for "miracle greatness".

This group is SO beat up mentally. I am not upset if they don't make it. I love them all. Even Delgado, who I bashed so bad, who has now been great. Tomorrow's another game to try to get back into contention.

You can't blame Jon Niese.

2008-09-22T20:10:00.000-07:00

This poor guy comes into a game where he has to be the savior for this team which is so scared of not losing and so tight. Some of the stupid Met fans are blaming him for this loss. The Mets were a boat with many holes (count how many guys in the bullpen who suck and that is the number of holes, however, Aaron Heilmann has the BIGGEST hole (even though I really feel sorry for him because he is a nice guy who is not arrogant and fully knows how much he is sucking. He is the Doug Zisk of our day).

It is time for the violinests to play "Nearer my God to Thee", because Leonardo Decaprio is drowning and we as Mets fans must accept the inevitable truth that this team is "dead in the water", much like the Titanic.

I know, the pain of last yr. is so real. This yr. is less painful because at least the chokers (Reyes, Beltran, Delgado, Wright) have a legitimate gripe. The bullpen is WAY worse than last yr.

It's tough when the hitters step up and know that even if they are leading by 4 runs, it's not safe. It is hard to be a Mets fan. But I wore my hat when they lost 103 games because I love my team and stick by them. I "Gotta Believe"!, as Tug said, but it's hard when the players don't, or don't have the talent (uh....bullpen).

The Mets will repeat 2007 but it will be easier

2008-09-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

It's almost like a scary movie. You see the stars of the movie, you get to know them, and like them. You root for them. You think, "this guy (girl) is so nice and so sweet, there is no way Jason could kill them." So you watch the movie. When that "guy" and that"girl" are killed you are like, "NO WAY!!!! THEY CAN'T BE DEAD!!!" That's how it is being a Mets fan. You see the best hitter coming up (David Wright), you're thinking"this game is over, he's going to hit a home run or a double or something". Next thing you know, here's Jason running out on the field, with his hockey mask, but the only thing is, Jason is not doing the stabbing, it's David Wright HIMSELF doing Harikiry on the the field, stabbing himself to death after sucking at the plate!!!!!!!!

Carlos Delgado can kiss my ass as far as MVP!!!! to change the subject............. He is an amphibian piece of shit!!!!!!!! If it wasn't for his shitty fielding ALL of the year and his shitty batting for the first half of the yr the Mets would be in first place. He is a big load of shit that is dragging down this team. Granted, he is an incredible home run hitter and is loaded with talent, but when it comes to crunch time, he SUCKS!!!!!!

I love David Wright. In the regular season. He needs to grow a pair and get an injection of testosterone. Not only to hit in the clutch, but to change his voice so he doesn't sound like a girl in post game interviews. I wouldn't mind that, but he sounds like the faggot Willie Randolph when he talks about a "bump in the road". YOU SUCKED!! ITS NOT A BUMP!!!!! David Wright needs to say like Manuel, " It was a bad game............"

I am sick of the pussy attitude of these Mets and Jerry better break some heads................

I will not watch another game until they reach the playoffs.......................if they do.....

they cannot win without Tatis, who had the biggest balls on the whole team. the Mets are done. period.

I was born a poor white child.........in Zimbabwe.......?

2008-08-14T20:52:00.000-07:00

ok, so i'm watching the olympicas
why is everything i said underlined. I am so retarded as it concerns the internet. So.............I see this swimmer, Kirsty Coventry. I'm thinking, "Oh cool, a good American swimmer!" and then I see that she is swimming for Zimbabwe??? Ok, this is a joke, right??That is weird. Kenyans kill us in marathons. I figure Zimbabwens would do well in swimming. apparently not. They must not have enough water in Zimbabwe to fill swimming pools so they must rely on a richy white woman. wow.

Ice cubes are not subject to the five second rule

2008-08-06T18:36:00.000-07:00

You could literally drop an ice cube on a steaming pile of dogshit, pick it up and rinse it with hot water until the contact area is melted away and you would have no remnants of the aforementioned dooky. When you drop a twizzler, let's say, on a "clean" floor, you have five seconds to retrieve it and blow off the nasties. With an ice cube, because of the inherent "wetness", ya really don't want to eat it within the five second window. The advantage, though, of an ice cube is that you can achieve a greater quality of "cleanness" and "germfreeness". The only thing you have to watch out for is the dooky particles could stay in your hand, thereby contaminating the ice cube anew. hmmm..... I may have to rethink my position.........

Aaron Heilman looks like a kid that just got a wedgie from a bully

2008-08-05T19:46:00.000-07:00

It is so telling when they have a closeup on Heilman. Aaron Heilman has such a pathetic look on his face when things are going bad. I feel sorry for him actually. Even though I have yelled at the tv many times when he was pitching. He knows he's pitching like a girl and is embarassed by his performance, but he just can't seem to get out of it. The guy has really good shit, but apparently has no confidence in it, or actually in himself. That's the real problem.

Unlike Billy Fucking Wagner, who truly believes that there may not be any odor to be detected after he has defecated in the Mets clubhouse (not to mention the odor that can be detected in the Shea Stadium parking lot when he blows his umteenth save. Armando, are you busy??? Your evil twin is on the DL!)

I am so sick of this fucking shit with these closers: Benitez, Looper, Fagner. Can we get an average guy that can protect a two run lead???????????????

Billy Wagner fucking sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-02T21:07:00.000-07:00

I am so fucking sick of these fucking Mets getting closers who have their heads in their fucking asses. Benitez, Looper, Wagner. I want to shoot myself in the head.

And Fagner looking at the ump when he walked a 220 hitter as if it's somehow the ump's fault. If you suck, own it. That's how you become better. If you don't "own it", then you don't realize that you must change something. Wagner is Bill Klinton's son. He is lying about his shit.

The Mets cannot win with a closer they can't trust. It is too demoralizing for players to fight for the lead that my grandmother could protect.

The obvious sign that Wagner is choking: watch where the catcher is setting up and where he actually pitches. He is missing his spots by a LOT! And then when he is in danger of getting a loss, he magically becomes the great closer that he should be!!!

I'm done with SNY not calling a spade a spade. It's not the BULLPEN it's WAGNER!!!! WAGNER LOST THIS FUCKING GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My washer overflowed. Do you know why? I'll tell you how to fix the problem

2008-07-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

This is a boring post about your washing machine overflowing. It has a thing called the water level switch or sensor. Now, this thing is cleverly disguised as the switch that says what kinda load you want to wash. small med or large.

There is a hose that comes out of the back of this thing. If that hose is disconnected, your tank will overflow. That's what happened to me. You can't see it, because it's inside the case. So, you want to take the back panel off to see it. How do you take the back panel off, you might say. Ya don't! WARNING!!! UNPLUG MACHINE BEFORE OPENING IT UP SO YOU DON'T DIE!!!! Unplug the machine. On my Kenmore, you pull on the plastic molding pieces on each side of the knob (control) and they pop off like magic. Then unscrew the two screws, on each side and you flip the whole control panel up and out of the way, like a funny car. On each side, you'll see two gold colored springy looking clips. Take a flat screwdriver and pop those suckers off and now the whole casing of the machine can be pulled forward and there's the drum, naked as a jaybird. Follow the hose from the load level (small med large, you know) down to where it hooks into the side of the drum. This is a clear hose about as big as your pinky and about 3 or 4 ft. long. See if the hose came off!! It wouldn't hurt to put a small clamp on there to prevent it from popping off in the future.
Good luck, we're all counting on you.........

Willie must go.

2008-06-13T20:34:00.000-07:00

I liked that Willie Randolph liked to steal bases. That was refreshing. (subliminal past tense speak, hoping that he is fired) That's about it. That is all I like about Willie. There is a reason that Willie Randolph was rejected as being a possible manager for many teams. It is not because he is black. I believe the Mets hired him to give an African American a chance. That is a stupid reason to hire someone. And unfair to the "non African Americans" who were discriminated against because they were not AA. I think that many teams did not hire him because he's an idiot.
I am sick of him saying, "we'll be alright". We will not be alright, dickhead!

I loved that Rick Petersen Peterson was the pitching coach, because he did so well in Oakland. I used to love Joe Garigiola and Bob Costa and Tim McCarver too, but they all realized that people loved them and then became in love with themselves and consequently slacked off and thought that their shit did not stink and lost their way. I grew to hate the aforementioned broadcasters that I previously loved because they grew to suck. Same with Petersen, unfortunately.

Dump Delgado with Randolph and Howard Johnson. Delgado is a lazy piece of shit who runs at 60 percent speed around the bases, can't field a simple ground ball and is a cancer on this team. Asshole. There. I feel better. I am sad the Mets won, because it means Willie has life.

Carlos Delgado is the epitomy of a sucky ballplayer (a.k.a. Carlos Delgado sucks!)

2008-06-07T21:31:00.000-07:00

Carlos Delgado does every conceivable thing you can do as a first baseman or a ballplayer that is bad. I thought Jason Giambi was bad. Not only is he horrible defensively, he does everything wrong in baserunning (running half speed).
Delgado fools people with his home runs. People are in love with homers. Home runs are one tenth or less of a players' value.
He is singlehandedley killing the Mets. When he is not in the lineup, I love it.

I know the Mets are playing like shit and I blame Willie. There is no fire. When he put that piece of shit Delgado on the bench, they took off. Hello?? It's not just Del.... , the whole team has no fire. San Diego has such great pitching so, I cut them some slack........................uh what?? Let's see if the Mets can score 1 run for three in a row against shitty pitching.................... I can't wait.

Fuck you Willie. Wake up! Dump Willie now.

I'm not sure, but I think Guiseppe Franco is full of shit

2008-06-07T21:24:00.000-07:00

Look, I don't know know anything about it. I just know that it works. Look, I'm not putting my name out there for something that doesn't work. Look, I don't know if he's full of shit, I I dont know anything about him. I'm just saying that I dont know know anything about him.

I want to vomit when I see this ad.

Let me ask you this: If you are putting your name on the line, wouldn't you know know anything about it???? I don't know know.

Eli DID choke! I was wrong about being wrong! (Yes!!!)

2008-02-05T22:11:00.000-08:00

"Unless I'm wrong, and I'm never wrong...."-Prince Humperdink

I was talking with this dude at work and he said that Eli looked like shit in the final drive. I looked at it again and counted five times where the ball could have been intercepted. The Giants were lucky that the Pats did not intercept the pigskin.

Vote for Hillary Clinton? Uh, yeah , honey!

2008-02-05T21:56:00.000-08:00

Here's the deal. The majority of Democrat voters who are men are NOT wearing the pants in the family, otherwise, they would be Republicans. Now, picture this: it's election day 2008, it's either Hillary (Billary) or McCaine (McCain, MacCaine). Emasculated husband is axed by his domineering Dem wife, "Isn't it great we are going to have a woman president, Ted?" Ted, with his best game face, says, "I can't imagine anything better, dear!!!" and strides manfully to the booth and pulls the curtain and says, "Fuck you, bitch!!!!!" using the only tool he has to assert his manhood and pulls the lever for any Republican, even Donald Fucking Duck, just so long as it's not a nagging cunt like his fucking bitch wife!!!!!!!! On the way out, he is accosted by an "exit poll" and they ask him who he voted for. With his dear wife in earshot, he lies and says, "Hillary, of course!!!"
With a hidden smirk he rides in the passenger seat as they make their way back home....

Hillary Clinton is the Antichrist!!

2008-02-05T21:46:00.000-08:00

So there I was, waiting to turn left at a stop light, and I see these two hot milf types, (I am assuming they are baby killers or support those who are) and I yell out, "HILLARY IS THE ANTICHRIST!!!" Ironically, I get a flat tire while turning left and stop. I'm thinking, "Oh, great." As I am getting out to change the tire these two women come up to me and proposition me.........

Ok, that's not true. It is true that I yelled what I did. I was looking for a pic of hil with horns but couldn't find any.

I would say that she's like the girl that you fall for but find out that she's a total bitch, but that would not make sense. Although it made sense to Bill.

She is the epitomy of evil on this earth. that's it.

Eli did not choke, I was wrong

2008-01-16T21:04:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry Eli Manning for saying that you would choke against Tampa Bay. You played well. You also played well against the Evil Cowboys. However, that was not a "choke situation"*. You have nothing to lose playing on the frozen tundra of Lambeau field, because everybody and their mother thinks the Packers (pronounced "Packah's") are going to win big. Eli may even start to get confidence in this perry dish of growth. He may begin to think he is all that. It may even build a foundation of greatness for him. Good for him.
The true test will be if he can win a playoff game in which his team is 'favored'.

My female cat has testicles

2008-01-07T14:38:00.001-08:00

At least I thought it was a female, 'cuz the lady that gave her (him) to me 6 months ago said she(he) was a girl. damnit!!! I should have looked myself at it's (his) genitalia. Oh well, no kitties for me.

I have a mancrush on Tom Brady : D

2008-01-04T20:06:00.000-08:00

I ain't no homo, don't get me wrong, but I LOVE that guy that wears #12 for the Pats!!! I want my boys to emulate his BALLNESS! You could poke both his eyes out when he's down by two TD's at halftime and he will find a way to win the game. Webster Dictionary actually announced that in the next edition, next to the definition for "balls", they are going to print Tom Brady's picture, to adequately illustrate the definition of "balls".

Peyton Manning is a choker

2008-01-04T19:48:00.000-08:00

Peyton Manning is the most talented QB in the game today, IMHO. There is a HUGE difference between most talented and best. Best means "I get it done." There is a long list of "most talented". Don't care. Get 'r' done!!

Last year's SB, he threw the ball to the Bears a couple few times in the first half and when they wouldn't let him choke, he figgered that he could win so he did.

He will choke in these playoffs. Mark my word.

Eli will as well, that's a given. Eli, as all chokers do, will do well when they are expected to lose, as they were (the Giants) against the Pats. When the Jints were up by 12 and should have won, he went into choke mode. The Fuckinears will beat the Giants because Chucky has big balls and knows how to get in the head of those with small balls, i.e. Eli Manning. Chokers choke. It's what they do, it's ALL THEY DO!!!!!!!!!!

Wat up mah bitches?

2008-01-04T18:58:00.000-08:00

I bin outa da loop yo. I bin not postin' yo. I be sorry yo. f y'all! But seriously, folks! I have not been posting because nobody reads my shit and I am ANGRY at you all!!!! Sure, there's the Bosnian woman who is trying to learn English, but she doesn't reply EVER!!!! Would it kill you motherfuckers to reply JUST ONCE???? I need love here, damn it!!!! I WON'T BE IGNORED, DAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't make me go all Glen Close on you!!! And I'm not talking about the "The Natural" Glen Close, with the hat that catches the sunlight, just right....... I'M TALKING ABOUT "RABBIT STEW GLEN CLOSE"!!!!!

Now fucking REPLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SADA BINGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Celtics don't suck anymore!

2007-11-07T19:56:00.000-08:00

It's nice to watch the Celts without feeling like shit because they suck. Kevin Garnett is a fine young man with a great attitude. Thank God!!

Nobody reads my shit anyway so I'm a bitter bitch

2007-10-27T21:34:00.000-07:00

I want to be loved by you people out there. But you don't show me love. I have thousands of readers , well, I ...uhh have tens of readers and no one replies, which means you don't care. U'll be sorry, just watch.............AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARHHHHHHHHHHRG

Dick Stockton sounds like he's reading off a teleprompter! Listen to him!!

2007-10-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

Stockton's speech is halting, like he's waiting for the words to come up on a screen. When it's a no brainer, he flows with his speech like he does in football. It is really annoying. Cubs vs. Diamondbacks, (D'backs). IT IS SO ANNOYING!!! CHECK OUT TBS for the Division series. Not only that, every ball that's hit deep, he has no idea if it is close to the fence.

There was this big stink about Chip Carey not keeping his job as TBS announcer and that Stockton replaced him, I think. Carey complained about a football analyst doing baseball, etc.

This is bad and obvious that he is reading the words that he says. Pathetic.

I still love my Mets because I am a true fan, not a bandwagonner.

2007-10-02T18:09:00.000-07:00

It hurts to watch them lose like this and Willie should take the blame because of his numerous stupid moves and not reprimanding players for making the third out at third base and not going out to the mound once in a while and telling the pitcher to get his head out of his ass and not painting every loss with sunshine and roses. At some point, do a Jim Leyland and say that this is not acceptable. If a manager rips the team a new one, it goes a long way. Players need motivation, and that's what the manager's for. He is the one steering the ship and if his guys are bringing him off course, he needs to jump ugly with them!!!!!!!!! FU Willie.

My Honda radio don't work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-18T18:13:00.000-07:00

This is a public service message for peeps who went thru what I did today. I left my freakin lights on this morning and my battery went dead. I get a jump from the receptionist with the big boobs, apparently she knows her stuff about cars, 'cuz she had jumper cables. After I got her started, (my car) she (the receptionist) asked me if there was anything else she could do for me. I ..... I'm just making this up. Some guy gave me a jump. Anyhoo, I get the fucker started and I asked Johnny Junior to start the fuckin' car (Johnny Frotto impersonation from Stern show, sorry). Ok, so I turn on the radio and this fuckin' thing don't work! It gives me a fuckin error! So I say to Johnny Junior, what the fuck?? It says, "code". So I try to put a fuckin "code" in, I don't know what the fuck "code" means so I put in whatever and the fuckin' ting doesn't work after I put in 3 fuckin codes and it's stuck at "Err-3". I'm like, You mudda fukka!!! Johnny Jr. says the same!
So I look all over the fuckin internet, JJ does the same, and people are sayin that the code may be on the bottom of the ashtray. So I look and there it is!! I put the code in and the mother fucker doesn't work!! So I go the manual. It says you have to leave the unit on for one hour before pressing the code number. I got the fucker on right now. I'll let ya know.
By the way, those mother fuckers at Honda want you to pay 90 fuckin dollars for the code, according to a lot of people in the internet. People are PISSED!!!
This better fuckin' work.

I'm Layla Kayleigh, and you've just been fed!

2007-05-02T20:41:00.000-07:00

Ya know what? Layla Kalee Kaylee Kayliegh spelling? could say to me, "I'm Layla Kayleigh, and you've just been kicked in the balls." and then do it and I would still marvel at how sexy she is. It's that fucking English accent that kills me. I don't know why, but she drives me crazy!!!!!!!!! JUST STOP FUCKING DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!! mommy.............................she's so beautiful. Ok. Goosefraba (Anger Management reference). Oh, you are so beautiful. That is all.

Mariano appears to be all done....sad

2007-04-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

Don't get me wrong, I hate the Yankees as much as the other non-bandwagon fans. He is just not throwing with the fire and the deceptiveness. I loved the way he pitched and hated his Yankee afiliation. I think he might be outa gas.

If layla kayleigh was my wife

2007-04-27T20:47:00.000-07:00

"Have you been fed, love?(in her sexy English accent)". Uhhhh, no. And then after all the dirty business, she would say, "I'm Layla Kayleigh, and you've just been fed." And I would just lay there and..........oh. I just don't know what to say. She is so friggin hot.

Nappy headed ho's

2007-04-11T21:35:00.001-07:00

Don Imus can say whatever he wants. FUCK YOU PC ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where the hell are all these dykes coming from?

2007-03-19T21:44:00.001-07:00

It's like, "Dyke City" now. They oughta have a Grand Theft Auto game by that name! Holy shit, it's like every time I go to any store it's like, "dyke dyke dyke dyke, dyke dyke dyke dyke, dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke!!!!! DYKE!!!!! (CHARGE!!!)". Holy shit, look at all these dykes!! Unbelievable how many dykes there are! It's like, "here a dyke, there a dyke, everywhere a dyke dyke!" Dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke. Holy crap! What is the deal, yo? What, did they just open up the "dyke" dyke? And all these dykes came flooding out? What the freak? Dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke. You know what, I think they were hiding behind the long hair and they said, "You know what, I'm shaving my head, look at me, I'm a dyke, look at my big ass, I'm a dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke." The only problem with dykes is that they still drive like women, which leads me to believe that they really aren't dykes at all, just ugly women who couldn't get a guy and "sold out" and figured "any love is better than no love, so I'll just say that I love women". I don't buy it. I think if half of these babes got a shot of Mr. Penis, they would jump ship.

Richard Jeni

2007-03-19T21:06:00.000-07:00

Richard Jeni committed suicide. From what I've seen, it mentions something about gunshot. This is so hard to find on Google. It's almost like if you kill yourself, no one should know about it. That makes me sick. He was Jim Carrey's sidekick in "The Mask". This is incredibly sad and it is ignored. Hollywood is an evil place that manufactures stars and doesn't seem to care about people. It's terrible. This guy was a real person and nobody knows about his terrible death. Very sad.

Allen Iverson is a selfish asshole

2007-03-15T21:52:00.000-07:00

AI is a selfish ass that doesn't realize how he hurts his team with his selfish play. Selfishness does not show up in the box score. Only really true basketball fans understand how he hurts his team.

Just because it's on a calendar doesn't make it factual

2007-03-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

I made a comment to my ubersmart daughter that "March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a lion". She goes on to tell me that I'm wrong and that it's "in like a lion and out like a lamb", which apparently would make sense, as the in part is closer to winter (lion like...stay with me here) and the out (closer to spring.....April........you know), but if that were the saying, then why would it be a saying? Aren't sayings supposed to teach us something that may not be obvious? So she says, "Dad, it's on the calendar like that!" So I says, "That's because some lazy retard put in on there!" Of course, she couldn't believe THAT!! She needs to learn that just because it's in print, doesn't make it gospel!!
Go ahead, do a Google search and type in each way. In like a lamb has like 500 times more pages. Another one that bugs me is people saying, "He was calm, cool and collective." "Collective"? Like he was collecting cans or coins or something? The term is "calm, cool and collected" as it in "all together". Another one: "On tract". Well, Bill, it looks like Jeter is finally "on tract". DICKHEAD!, it's "on track"!!! As in being on the path you want to be on, a reference to a train...........DUH!!

LISTEN ASSHOLE!! LINK THE EMAIL YOU'RE RESPONDING TO!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-12T19:55:00.000-07:00

Nothing makes my blood boil more than some fuckstick who responds to an email you sent a week ago, saying, "Good point!!" or "I agree 100 percent!" TO WHAT???? Would it kill you to include the fucking email you are responding to in your fucking response???????? INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE!!! So now I have to look through my "sent items" and match the time sent and the subject to find out what the fuck this dickhead is "agreeing" with!!!!!!!!

Goosefrabah..........goose frabah......... Ok, so this is what I'm going to do from now on. I will simply reply, and oh yeah, delete what they just wrote, and say, "why do you think that way?". They will be scratching their heads and saying, "FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! Why didn't he link this email with the one I sent???" Touche' dickhead!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tim Hardaway can say whatever the hell he wants! Faggot!

2007-02-15T20:28:00.000-08:00

The last time I checked Tim and I live in America where your inalienable right of free speech endowed by your creator is recognized and supported. I am SO SICK of all these pc faggot cowards on the radio like Colin Cowherd that castigate Hardaway for saying what probably most players in the NBA would love to say. I HATE WHAT THIS COUNTRY IS BECOMING!!! It's not America anymore, just a shell of what the whole damn country is based on. I'M FUCKING SICK OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU PC FUCKING COMMUNIST COCK SUCKERS!! There.

In case you missed it, Hardaway said something to the effect of , "I hate gay people." Prior to that, the interviewer asked him something about how he would feel if he had a gay teammate. He said that he wouldn't like that in the locker room. I wouldn't want some fag lookin' at my wiener schnitzel with desire in his eyes either.

Here's the dill yo, Peyton will probably choke

2007-02-01T22:02:00.000-08:00

I think that the Bears will win the Superbowl tm (like that, dontcha!), oh, I'm sorry, "the big game" because as inconsistent as Grossman is, and the fact he has nothing to lose,no pressure on him, Peyton I can't win the big one Manning has all the pressure in the world on him and will fold like a cheap suit. It's possible that he has overcome his choking ways, considering his last game, but I'm not convinced....nah.......he will choke. I'm sorry, I am psychic about chokers and I can smell 'em out. I think he will choke.

Bears win. That's it.

The Bullshitness of the NBA

2007-02-01T21:34:00.000-08:00

I'm watching an NBA game tonight and I notice that they have an extended "paint" area that is wider than the normal "paint" apparently designed for players to stand while waiting for a player to shoot foul shots. Now, I'm watching this game, which pains me, because the NBA has lost it's way as far as enforcing the rules, and a player is shooting a foul shot and before he even releases the ball, almost everyone is in the paint, trying to get the rebound. So.........instead of enforcing the rule that's on the books, that a player may not enter the paint prior to release of the ball, they change the paint to make up for it??? Huh? That's ludicrous.

Basketball had a beauty and was intended to be a gentlemanly game that rewarded hard work and good fair play. A player had a right to proceed to the basket, but not if an opponent was already standing there. It actually reflected life and should still. If I have an opportunity to go in a certain direction and there is no one in my way, I have every right to do this. If someone is in my way, I must then go around him. Now, if someone is in my way, I must be like Shaq and push and push and push him until I reach my destination. The Bully, now, is the star, not the gifted player. It went from a game that rewarded good play, regardless of the size of the player, apart from the obvious disadvantage of lack of height, to rewarding those who would

I'm sick of these gay fucking star trek cell phone earpieces!!

2007-02-01T21:25:00.000-08:00

I'm in the post office today and this fucking asshole has one of those cell phone ear thingy's that reminds me of that guy in Return of the Jedi that had the colon wrapped around his head. The message is that, "I am a dick and you are not noticing my every move so I have to wear this fucking thing in my ear to make you look at me and think I'm cool." Unfortunately, the opposite effect is achieved. You look like a DICK!!! I could see if you are doing business and you are like a Charlie Sheen in "Wall Street" kinda guy and need to be in contact every minute with your peeps, but please!!, if you are not on the phone remove that fucking ridiculous ear apparatus!!! What is your fucking problem, didn't your mommy give you enough attention??? There, I said it. whew!

Having immature fun

2007-02-01T21:17:00.000-08:00

I read some blog and wanted to comment on it and the thing said that I have to sign in to comment. I'm like wtf???? So I wrote fuck you for the sign in. It said, " Could not discover claimed identity: url_fetch_error: Error fetching URL: Can't connect to fuck you". Fine. So I thought, "hmmm what else can I write here?" So I typed, "my need to masturbate every hour" and it gave the error: "Could not discover claimed identity: url_fetch_error: Error fetching URL: Can't connect to my need to masturbate every hour". I chuckled. How about, "my wife because she's a fucking bitch" and it spit out, "Could not discover claimed identity: url_fetch_error: Error fetching URL: Can't connect to my wife because she's a fucking bitch". On and on you can imagine the fun I had! Try it sometime!

Dallas Cowboy cheerleader talks about "weakness"

2006-12-01T21:43:00.000-08:00

In talking about the series "Making the team" She says something about "weaknesses being exposed". Translation: You are not making guys want to have sex with you. The only weakness that I can see in any DCC is that I don't want to bang her. I am willing to overlook a mistake in her routine. Alright, a couple mistakes. Ok, she can dance like me, but if she's smokin' hot, I'm there!!

THIS FUCKING JAP SHOULD NOT BE A DALLAS COWBOYS CHEERLEADER!!!!

2006-12-01T21:34:00.000-08:00

Me so honey, fuck you! Do you tink I danz sexy? If not, I make it more sexy? This fucking matsui fucking look-a-like is not someone I think is hot. Yoshiko, Yo!!! Shiko!!! You are a wannabe. Yoshiko only made this team because of the large asian community in my ass!

Hot girls do not make the squad because of PC bullshit. Yoshiko is so not hot.

Brent Musberger is an incredible dick

2006-11-25T20:53:00.000-08:00

I can't think of a better way to describe him. I really want to vomit when I hear the things that come out of his pathetic mouth. It actually gets to the point that I feel sorry for him, because it's quite obvious that he was incredibly abused by his schoolmates and this is what has driven him all of these years, to finally get revenge on all those kids that were better than him in sports.
I truly believe that he has unresolved issues from his youth. Perhaps Emilio Estevez taped his buns together. It is really sad to see how he always latches on to whoever is winning and kisses their ass so completely, it's almost like he is taking revenge on the opponent (which represents all those who treated him badly when he was young) who has talent but has failed, somehow getting a delicious revenge on those jocks who gave him wedgies as a youth.
I believe that he is a very sick man and needs psychiatric help, really. I am not joking when I say this. He really is sick. I used to hate him, but I really think he needs help.

Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader (that'll get some hits!!)

2006-11-24T20:45:00.000-08:00

Yoshiko, the Jap chick. Yeah, I said "Jap". I'm controversial. I'll take you down with me. I borrowed that. Thank you. I watched the "making the squad" show on NFL Network. I was very upset that she made the team as she is not hot. She has that "driven" mentality of Nissan, but being driven does not make you hot. I'm sure she appeals to the Asian community, but, she is not as hot or good as those who were dismissed. Me so horny only goes so far, thank you.

That chick in the Mercury commercial does not do it for me

2006-11-17T16:05:00.000-08:00

Jill Wagner, I guess, is her name. At least that's what I got from "googling". She has nice boobies (tee hee!) but she strikes me as being a little lesbianish, ya know, a little too athletic. I don't think she likes the penis. I could be wrong and Jill, you can contact me personally to refute this.

How great was Heart?

2006-11-08T20:22:00.000-08:00

VH1 has this "class of....'77" or whatever year. They had a video of Heart doing "Barracuda". Ann Wilson was not a big fat ass at that point (sorry Ann, btw, she's the one on the left, Nancy on the right, who's still hot) and she can FREAKIN' SING!! And Oy vay!! the guitar work by Fischer and whoever the hell else, man!, absolute perfection. Heart was so great and the best album was Little Queen. Unbelievable. That's it!

Problem with ratings? Get rid of Jeanne Zelasko

2006-10-27T20:46:00.000-07:00

The World Series has had problems with ratings in 2006. Part of the problem may be when baseball fans tune in to watch the World Series, they see Jeannie, Genie, Jeanniee, Jeanie,Jeanee, I must cover all bases here(:)), and they have to hear her bitch voice for a half hour before the game starts. NEWSFLASH: WHEN MEN ARE WATCHING A SPORTING EVENT, THE ONLY TIME A WOMAN IS WELCOME ON THE SCREEN, IS IF SHE LOOKS HOT OR SPEAKS FOR LESS THAN 20 SECONDS AND LOOKS SEMI-HOT. OTHER THAN THAT, SHE IS NOT WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, here is Fox, having Zelasko present the trophy, THE TROPHY, the one that says, you are a MAN AND YOU HAVE 'BALLS'!!!!! and here is someone who was not born with said "balls", talking to one who has "balls". IT IS WRONG TO HAVE A WOMAN INTERVIEW A MANAGER WHO HAS JUST USED HIS BALLS TO WIN IN A MAN'S GAME! FUCK YOU, BITCH!!!

I am so upset on so many levels for the lack of men being men in this whole series and the coverage thereof.

I've finally figured out who Ned Lamont looks like

2006-10-20T22:34:00.000-07:00

I've seen the ads for Ned Lamont, and he just looks creepy and I'm thinkin' "Who does he look like?" Remember the movie, "Poltergeist"? He looks like that clown that the boy has in his room. He's creepy. "I'm Ned Lamont and I approve this message. Oh and I will wrap my creepy clowny arms around your neck and strangle you!"

Wagner says "What did you expect?" How about doing your JOB!

2006-10-18T21:38:00.000-07:00

After Billy Wagner did his usual shit job of pitching, a reporter axed him, "The ninth inning was a little interesting....etc." Wagner responds, "What did you expect?" In other words, "I always suck when I come in with a big lead and let the other team back in the game." How about doing YOUR FUCKING JOB!!!! OH!! OH!! (Sam Kinneson impersonation). Benitez seems to think..........OOPS, I mean Wagner seems to think that when he is brought in to pitch that he only needs to get people out when he's up by one. Get outs asshole.

Bringing in Billy Wagner in a 4-0 lead is liking inviting a recovering alcoholic to a keg party

2006-10-18T20:21:00.000-07:00

Where is it written that the "closer" must come in in the last inning, even when the previous pitcher is way more reliable? The very reason one would bring in a closer is because he is unhittable and better than the previous pitcher. If you know the closer is suspect, why do you bring him in? Bringing in Mariano Rivera is always an excellent decision because he is lights out. There are many closers who are not. If managers would just remove closers when they fuck up, maybe they would wise up. Jim Leyland wouldn't stand for the shit that Wagner does. Randolph has to make a stand against Wagner. Oh no, people would say, if you do that you'll destroy his confidence! What confidence does he have now? He can't be any worse!! If you yanked him once, I GUARANTEE that he would get every batter out for the rest of the postseason, because closers have egos and that's what powers them. If you don't challenge them, they suck like Wagner!!!!

Willie Randolph and Tony LaRussa are collectively retarded

2006-10-18T20:09:00.000-07:00

I like the attitude Randolph brings to the Mets. I don't like some of his decisions but he is WAY better than Bobby Valentine. Oh yeah, Art Howe kinda stunk. Bobby was worse.

So here comes Brandon Looper in with the game at 2-0, Mets leading. Now, the Mets fans HATE Looper because he stunk last year. Really stunk. Tucker is on first with two out. Looper has already shown that he is wild. 2and 2 count. Looper is most likely going to walk the batter. Looper has already thrown to first like seven times, even though Tucker had no lead and was not a threat to steal. Here comes the 2-2 pitch. Unexplainably, Tucker steals. Unexplainably, Larussa has his catcher have a pitchout. The catcher (who is the best in the NL at throwing out runners, mind you) throws the ball into center field. I'm like, "what the fuck?" Why the hell is he having Tucker steal, when Looper is a time bomb waiting to explode and if he gets thrown out, you are letting Looper off the hook!!! Not to mention, at this point, Looper can't find the plate for strike 3 if he's safe. Why would LaRussa think that Randolf would be stupid enough to steal there? Maybe he's a genious genius (spelling?) for knowing that Randolph would steal him. I doubt it.

Oh, by the way, fuck you Yankee fans

2006-10-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

Oh, the Yankees couldn't buy a World Series birth this year? Oh, come here, you can cry on my shoulder.............FUCK YOU! You assholes who don't realize that the only reason the Yankees win anything is because they buy the best players. Wow. Real hard to win when you field a hall of fame team every year. Yeah, well sometimes it goes sour, you arrogant fucks! HA HA!!! Sucks, don't it? Now you know what it's like to root for the Royals whose entire payroll for 24 players is less than two Yankees. Feel their pain, assholes!!!

Tim McCarver is mentally ill

2006-10-07T18:58:00.000-07:00

I am a big Mets fan and I used to love Tim McCarver's comments. I used to love Garigioala and Costas, but they all fall in love with themselves and think that every thing they say is great.

A pitch tonight that appeared to not hit Furcal at all and from all the replays, you could not tell at all if it had hit him or not the umpire ruled that he was not hit. Tim, after watching one replay which showed nothing, he says, "It nicked him" or something to that effect. I almost jumped through the screen. How the hell does he say that????? What an asshole. If you don't see anything, say that it's hard to tell, not that it "nicked him". Stupid arrogant ass.

So much of this stinks of bull about Terrell Owens

2006-09-27T17:57:00.000-07:00

"The rumors about me takin' 35 pills (pronounced: "peels"), I think, is not true." Now, if you know something to be true or not, don't you say, "It's NOT TRUE." not, "I think it's not true". "I think" means that you do not KNOW if it's true or not. If he doesn't know, then he must have been "out of it".

And Kim saying that he has "30 million reasons not to commit suicide" or whatever she said was so practiced and staged and provided by Rosenhaus, obviously.

Bullshit. All of it.

Holy crap!!! T.O. is lying and so is Kim whoever

2006-09-27T17:45:00.000-07:00

What a bunch of crap!!!!!!!!!!!! Drew Rosenhaus is obviously feeding them lines to avoid something. What a bunch of bullcrap!

This may shock you, but, fast food workers are stupid. It's true

2006-09-15T16:49:00.000-07:00

I usually trust people to do their job correctly when I'm ordering. This is now no longer the case.

Last week at BK:

"Welcome to bluh bluh bluh, askmdfkemr jsdl;fjl ?"

"Uh....yeah,"

At this point, we do the back and forth, I say I want number one, they say with cheese? I say no. They say what kinda drink.......etc. So I figger I'll cut to the chase and say exactly what I want.

"I'd like a number 1 with sausage and orange juice."
(simple enough, right?)

" # 1 sdfjskl sausage?"

It doesn't help that her English sucks.

"Number one with sausage and orange juice"

Let me explain something here. #1 breakfast is either sausage egg and cheese or bacon egg and cheese. Two choices here.

".....(pause).........You want sausage?"

"YES!"

"bllehusudhlbl please drive forward."

So she gives the shit and I look at the sandwich because I believe that she might not get it. Sausage on a croissant. No egg, no cheese. I'm like WTF!!!

Fast forward to tonight. Mickey Dee's:

"Welcome to McDonald's...........etc"

"Can I have two double cheeseburgers and a hamburger?"

"3 Double cheeseburgers and a hamburger, will there be anything else?"

"No. TWO double cheeseburgers!"

"2 double cheeseburgers and that's it?"

I felt like saying, "ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?" How stupid do you have to be to work there???? Why does she assume that because she misunderstood the quantity of the cheeseburgers that I would now drop the hamburger? Fucking idiot!

Prevent defense prevents you from winning, Giants. Duh!!!

2006-09-10T18:46:00.001-07:00

End of second quarter, Eli vs. Payton Manning, with 15 (?) seconds left, the colts need 5 yards to get the first , to at least get a chance to get a field goal that wouldn't be 59 yards and the Giants are playing prevent. Of course, the Colts get the first and subsequently kick the long field goal.
The Giants should have stopped them from gaining anything on second down and let them run the clock.
Grow some balls, Tom Coughlin and stop being a pussy.

Steve Irwin has been killed, what did you expect?

2006-09-06T22:09:00.000-07:00

Irwin, as entertaining as he was, would eventually meet his obvious end. Does anyone feel sorry for the snake charmer when he gets bit? Of course not. His family must have been expecting this at some point and instead of conserving wildlife, maybe he should have been conserving his 8 yr. old kid!!!!

Who cut off Stuart Scott's balls?

2006-09-06T21:46:00.000-07:00

I want to puke when I hear Stuart getting all hot and bothered about bitch ball. Please. Nobody cares about the WNBA and ESPN keeps trying to shove it down our throats because they have too many lesbos in that place!

Stuart, grow a pair.

New Hampshire vs. Vermont (Little League) forfeit controversy

2006-08-15T21:41:00.000-07:00

According to WCAX tv website (Vermont), "Little League rules require that each player on the team play three consecutive outs and get one at bat or that team must forfeit the game if the opponents file a protest." Now, let's understand something here. The key words in the previous statement are, "if the opponents file a protest". This implies that IF the opponents DON'T file a protest, that the other team would win, despite 'breaking the rules'. This is interesting, because the website goes on to say that "Needing to extend the game to the bottom of the sixth, Place (vermont coach) had Vermont's pitcher start intentionally walking batters and other players were making wild throws to advance runners, both teams were eventually warned by the umpires. Soon after another wild throw by Vermont's pitcher, both Place and the pitcher were ejected for unsportsmanlike conduct." Now, how can the umpires warn and eject players/coach for something that inherently should remain secret until a coach "protests"? THE UMPIRES HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THIS AND ACTED OUT OF PLACE! This is just another example of umpires hungry for attention and not knowing their responsibilities. The umpires should have acted as though everything was normal. It is the same as when a player slides into home and misses the plate and the catcher thinks he tagged him and the ump should just stand there and make no call. This is because the play is not finished. He is not to tell the catcher, "HEY, YOU DIDN'T TAG HIM". It's not his job. He is there to observe and judge, not coach. He must wait until a play is made. The catcher will then realize, as will the runner that it ain't done yet and then finish the play. This is the same thing. NOT YOUR JOB ,BLUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oprah the evil whale commercial

2006-08-04T21:10:00.000-07:00

They had some Oprah commercial (remember, Oprah spelled backwards is "Harpo", hence the production company name, clever eh?) where she says something about Nate(?) the resident "cutie pie" and his apartment on the next Oprah. Ain't he a homo? Oh, everybody tune in to see the homo cutie pie's apt!!! I have a feeling that she might be the Antichrist, but I'm not sure.

Girls who play tennis like girls are hot!

2006-08-04T20:32:00.000-07:00

I was driving through the park one day,
In the merry merry month of may,
I was taken by surprise by a lovely pair of thighs,
In the merry merry month of may!!

Ok, it wasn't May. So there I was, driving by the tennis courts and whoa!!!!!!!!!!! hit the brakes pull over for a second. Two lovelys playing tennis. It is my job as a male to absorb beauty wherever I see it. So I watch a couple of volleys. It is quickly evident that they have no clue. This is very hot. Oh, I love women.

Close caption for El Duque

2006-08-04T20:05:00.000-07:00

I was watching the Mets postgame and they were interviewing Hernandez (the Duke). I pushed the mute button to see if they had closed caption. They did not. Can you imagine being the guy who has to write this stuff? "He ........call.....uh ...pitch..............i...........no.......think....um....tro it.........it ok........." WTF? His English is so bad. The sportsdesk guy is like, "Ok and........" he had no idea what he just said. I LOVE El Duque, mind you, I loved him when he was in the Evil Empire, he is a great competitor and am happy he is with my Mets. Work on the Englais dude!

Is lettuce really necessary in a salad?

2006-08-01T21:25:00.000-07:00

Who the hell mandated that lettuce must be in a salad. I feel guilty if I don't have lettuce in it. Lettuce really doesn't bring much to the table (pun intended) and many times can be overbearing and spotlight hogging. Nobody wants lettuce to do that. It's kinda like that fat annoying guy you know that you don't want to invite to a party but you feel sorry for him, so you do it. Fuck you, lettuce!

Human rain delays

2006-08-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

You know people like this. You are in a hurry and they need to suck 4 or 5 minutes out of your time. I don't have time for this shit. State your point and let's go. Thank God Almighty that I have a great answering machine that, when you are listening to messages, you can hold the forward button and it cuts out all the dead air that long winded peeps leave on your machine. A message that would take 2 minutes is reduced to 30 seconds. You can still understand everything they're saying, which is cool. It's by Uniden. A cheap set, but it works great.

oh! the oxygen channel network whatever ad irresponsible

2006-07-28T21:55:00.000-07:00

So here I am watching, "Risky Business" on the Oxygen channel and they have this bullshit ad where this working mom copies an image of her hand and copies her daughter's (child's?) as well and she says something to the effect of, "When I miss her, I put my hand over her hand (copied image) and she does the same with my hand (copied image)". What absolute bullshit! So you can substitute all the intimate moments of teaching your daughter about life in her most formative years by having a fucking piece of paper to replace you??? All because you want to make the almighty fucking dollar? Is it really worth it? You selfish bitch!

Mention soccer, all these furriners come a callin'!!!!

2006-07-15T19:51:00.000-07:00

I have posted unflattering remarks about soccer. I realize that there are intelligent people in the world who have not yet been introduced to real sports that really challenge you mentally. Soccer is cheap. You just need a ball. So if you're poor, you have a soccer ball, you play soccer. I understand that. BUT,......the kids in the Dominican Republic play baseball with cardboard taped on their hands. Mariano Rivera was one of them. So, przepraszam, moj polski kolegow'. Many Polish kids are playing baseball and doing quite well, because they are willing to work at their skills and are not lazy. They just need to understand that soccer jest gowna!!!

Wie needs the slant banged out of her eyes.

2006-07-02T21:54:00.000-07:00

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee! such fun! Wie is pretty. She needs it. that's it.

Little League umpires are not the show, kids are

2006-07-02T21:31:00.000-07:00

So many Little League umpires think that the parents are there to watch how great they officiate the game. Wrong. They are there to officiate the game and not screw it up. The best umpire is the one that you don't notice. If, after the game, someone asks you, "who umped the game?" and you say that you don't know, that means that they umped the game correctly. Everyone is there to watch the kids, not the umpires. Umpiring is not a glory postion where you can excel and everyone marvels at how great you are. Umpiring is an attempt to call a game as perfectly as you can, avoiding making bad calls. In other words, you are expected to get everything right. If you don't, then you are a bad ump, depending on how much you screw up. No one ever says, "MAN, THAT UMP WAS SO GREAT TODAY!!!". If you do a perfect job, no one remembers it. If no one remembers that you umped the game, you did an excellent job. Lack of recognition is your goal.

Shutup you cunt!

2006-07-02T21:20:00.000-07:00

I don't need to hear Bonnie Bernstien or any other woman commenting on any game played by men. Somehow, it doesn't bother me when they are on the sideline at football games, especially when Joe Namath says to Suzy Kolber, "I want to kiss you." Ok. If they are there and they let former players kiss them, then ok, they can be there. Otherwise, "SHUTUP YOU CUNT! We can handle it!"

Joe Morgan is a fucking idiot (explained)

2006-07-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

Many months ago, I declared that Joe Morgan is an idiot. Anyone who has any baseball sense knows what I'm talking about. Tonight, Arod hit a homerun to right field, a pitch that was on the outside of the plate. He says, " See how he keeps his head back and drives the ball with his arms," or something to that effect. In order to drive a ball, your head and your whole body moves forward at least a foot. They had something about Ruth, where his head moved forward over two feet. Idiot-Morgan. Then, Alex hits a homerun to left center. Morgan says that's the exact same pitch he hit to right field. It was not the same pitch. Joe Morgan is a complete fucking idiot, who was a great player, because of his talent, not his brain. I have coached many players who have no brain, great talent. I can't explain how they succeed. Bottom line is, if you don't know what you're talking about, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soccer is so gay and stupid

2006-06-22T21:40:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad that the so called "Americans" lost against Guana (isn't that bat shit?). Knowing nothing about soccer, it appears that the referee hosed the "americans". Too bad, but think of it as "taking one for the team". In other words, if that call had not been made, perhaps the "americans" could have won and then the US would have turned more gay because more stupid Dunkin Donut sipping soccer moms would force their faggot sons to play the gayest game on earth.

If you could look at my high school yearbook, the soccer team's group was the biggest collection of non athlete, neo maxin zen dweebies. The Wonder Years did a show on soccer and it reminded me of the dweebs that played in my HS. Soccer sucks and is evil and is a horrible and evil thing to let your kids play it. Do not be a terrorist and let your kids play this evil, mind numbing game.

Ok, boys, look at my ball.

2006-06-19T19:17:00.000-07:00

On the Little League website they have this section with this caption:

"Again this year, all local Little Leagues are required to conduct background checks on Managers, Coaches, Board of Directors members and any other persons, volunteers or hired workers, who provide regular service to the league and/or have repetitive access to, or contact with, players or teams." Now, look at the "daisy duke" shorts this guy is wearing. Looks pretty creepy to me. That kid closest to him is like, "Whoa!!! Back up a little!" I don't know if this was an example of what to avoid or what, but. Yikes.

Colonel Flagg Flag is a funny character

2006-06-14T21:28:00.000-07:00

Watching Mash tonight. That Flag guy was so funny. That is all.

Dirk Nowitsky did not get it done

2006-06-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

It's ok that he missed the second foul shot in the waning seconds. It's the poor shot selection when they were leading. If you are leading by a lot, you must play a game that doesn't allow the opponent to catch up. Dallas did not do this. Dirk is no Bird. Larry was the master. People want to compare the two. Dirk has a long way to go.

Another reason why soccer sucks

2006-06-12T20:57:00.000-07:00

I just saw the post game comments of the "Americans" and it is just generalities about a stupid game that has no strategy. It's for FUCKING RETARDS!!! Look at a postgame of a Yankee game. Each player knows what hurt their team and can trace it to a certain play. That's because the game and each person's responsibility is well defined and everyone knows who screwed up. Soccer is just so retarded, really and is for stupid people.

And can the homos at ESPN kiss the ass of soccer in general anymore than it does? Why don't they lead with the Rodeo Championship when it's going on? Because these rich homo bastards faggot sons play soccer because they are too busy to teach them how to learn a real skill like catching a baseball or a football. FUCK YOU ESPN FOR ADVANCING THE COMMUNIST AGENDA OF MAKING OUR KIDS DRIBBLING IDIOTS!

soccer halftime analysis

2006-06-12T20:14:00.002-07:00

"We go now to Bob Smith with the halftime analysis". "Thank you Jim. Yes, in the first half we had an awful lot of kicking the ball toward the goal, followed by the opposing team blocking such kicks and kicking it the other way, which was then thwarted by the other team. Fascinating!!! Back to you, Jim!!"

soccer halftime analysis

2006-06-12T20:14:00.000-07:00

So there I was, watching soccer..........

2006-06-12T19:53:00.000-07:00

And they are saying that the US has gotten their asses kicked on a uh 4 yearly basis, and I was thinking, "Why oh why is our team so bad that they get beat so often? We are a big country with lots of people!" and then it came to me. It's because SOCCER SUCKS! and we are not a country of stupid people who lack the intelligence to play REAL sports. Granted, they are in great shape, but so are marathon runners. I don't know anyone who will sit and watch people run for two hours in a marathon. So soccer is like a stupid marathon with trying to kick the ball into the goal once a game. Boooring.

I think the appeal of soccer is looking at that big beautiful lawn. It is mesmerizing to see all that green grass..........

What is Torre doing, pitching Mariano 3 innings?

2006-05-30T20:11:00.000-07:00

11-6, Yankees are winning. I know that Rivera had only pitched 16 pitches, but why do you throw him one more in the 11th? I don't get it.

Annoying Yankee fan Pt. 2

2006-05-30T19:57:00.000-07:00

Holy shit!!!! If I was a fan at "Tiger Stadium", I would find out where this guy was sitting and consider flinging a "submarine pitch" of beer or, even an aerial bomb from an upper deck, but then you'd have collateral damage. Of course, punching him in the face could get you arrested. The one consoling fact is that God is just. As annoying and evil as some Yankee fans are, God is watching all this and if they are deserving of punishment, they will be punished, either here or in the hereafter. I must be merciful and hope that they are punished here as opposed to the bad place, or at least in purgatory. I forgive them, but punishment is most likely warranted. So don't worry, if you are a decent and good baseball fan, you will not be punished for such. I must confess that, yes, I have hated the Yankees.