I'm Layla Kayleigh, and you've just been fed!

Ya know what? Layla Kalee Kaylee Kayliegh spelling? could say to me, "I'm Layla Kayleigh, and you've just been kicked in the balls." and then do it and I would still marvel at how sexy she is. It's that fucking English accent that kills me. I don't know why, but she drives me crazy!!!!!!!!! JUST STOP FUCKING DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!! mommy.............................she's so beautiful. Ok. Goosefraba (Anger Management reference). Oh, you are so beautiful. That is all.

Mariano appears to be all done....sad

Don't get me wrong, I hate the Yankees as much as the other non-bandwagon fans. He is just not throwing with the fire and the deceptiveness. I loved the way he pitched and hated his Yankee afiliation. I think he might be outa gas.

If layla kayleigh was my wife

"Have you been fed, love?(in her sexy English accent)". Uhhhh, no. And then after all the dirty business, she would say, "I'm Layla Kayleigh, and you've just been fed." And I would just lay there and..........oh. I just don't know what to say. She is so friggin hot.

Nappy headed ho's

Don Imus can say whatever he wants. FUCK YOU PC ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where the hell are all these dykes coming from?

It's like, "Dyke City" now. They oughta have a Grand Theft Auto game by that name! Holy shit, it's like every time I go to any store it's like, "dyke dyke dyke dyke, dyke dyke dyke dyke, dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke!!!!! DYKE!!!!! (CHARGE!!!)". Holy shit, look at all these dykes!! Unbelievable how many dykes there are! It's like, "here a dyke, there a dyke, everywhere a dyke dyke!" Dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke. Holy crap! What is the deal, yo? What, did they just open up the "dyke" dyke? And all these dykes came flooding out? What the freak? Dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke. You know what, I think they were hiding behind the long hair and they said, "You know what, I'm shaving my head, look at me, I'm a dyke, look at my big ass, I'm a dyke dyke dyke dyke dyke." The only problem with dykes is that they still drive like women, which leads me to believe that they really aren't dykes at all, just ugly women who couldn't get a guy and "sold out" and figured "any love is better than no love, so I'll just say that I love women". I don't buy it. I think if half of these babes got a shot of Mr. Penis, they would jump ship.

Richard Jeni

Richard Jeni committed suicide. From what I've seen, it mentions something about gunshot. This is so hard to find on Google. It's almost like if you kill yourself, no one should know about it. That makes me sick. He was Jim Carrey's sidekick in "The Mask". This is incredibly sad and it is ignored. Hollywood is an evil place that manufactures stars and doesn't seem to care about people. It's terrible. This guy was a real person and nobody knows about his terrible death. Very sad.

Allen Iverson is a selfish asshole

AI is a selfish ass that doesn't realize how he hurts his team with his selfish play. Selfishness does not show up in the box score. Only really true basketball fans understand how he hurts his team.

Just because it's on a calendar doesn't make it factual

I made a comment to my ubersmart daughter that "March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a lion". She goes on to tell me that I'm wrong and that it's "in like a lion and out like a lamb", which apparently would make sense, as the in part is closer to winter (lion like...stay with me here) and the out (closer to spring.....April........you know), but if that were the saying, then why would it be a saying? Aren't sayings supposed to teach us something that may not be obvious? So she says, "Dad, it's on the calendar like that!" So I says, "That's because some lazy retard put in on there!" Of course, she couldn't believe THAT!! She needs to learn that just because it's in print, doesn't make it gospel!!
Go ahead, do a Google search and type in each way. In like a lamb has like 500 times more pages. Another one that bugs me is people saying, "He was calm, cool and collective." "Collective"? Like he was collecting cans or coins or something? The term is "calm, cool and collected" as it in "all together". Another one: "On tract". Well, Bill, it looks like Jeter is finally "on tract". DICKHEAD!, it's "on track"!!! As in being on the path you want to be on, a reference to a train...........DUH!!

LISTEN ASSHOLE!! LINK THE EMAIL YOU'RE RESPONDING TO!!!!!!!!!

Nothing makes my blood boil more than some fuckstick who responds to an email you sent a week ago, saying, "Good point!!" or "I agree 100 percent!" TO WHAT???? Would it kill you to include the fucking email you are responding to in your fucking response???????? INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE!!! So now I have to look through my "sent items" and match the time sent and the subject to find out what the fuck this dickhead is "agreeing" with!!!!!!!!

Goosefrabah..........goose frabah......... Ok, so this is what I'm going to do from now on. I will simply reply, and oh yeah, delete what they just wrote, and say, "why do you think that way?". They will be scratching their heads and saying, "FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! Why didn't he link this email with the one I sent???" Touche' dickhead!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tim Hardaway can say whatever the hell he wants! Faggot!

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Here's the dill yo, Peyton will probably choke

I think that the Bears will win the Superbowl tm (like that, dontcha!), oh, I'm sorry, "the big game" because as inconsistent as Grossman is, and the fact he has nothing to lose,no pressure on him, Peyton I can't win the big one Manning has all the pressure in the world on him and will fold like a cheap suit. It's possible that he has overcome his choking ways, considering his last game, but I'm not convinced....nah.......he will choke. I'm sorry, I am psychic about chokers and I can smell 'em out. I think he will choke.

Bears win. That's it.

The Bullshitness of the NBA

I'm watching an NBA game tonight and I notice that they have an extended "paint" area that is wider than the normal "paint" apparently designed for players to stand while waiting for a player to shoot foul shots. Now, I'm watching this game, which pains me, because the NBA has lost it's way as far as enforcing the rules, and a player is shooting a foul shot and before he even releases the ball, almost everyone is in the paint, trying to get the rebound. So.........instead of enforcing the rule that's on the books, that a player may not enter the paint prior to release of the ball, they change the paint to make up for it??? Huh? That's ludicrous.

Basketball had a beauty and was intended to be a gentlemanly game that rewarded hard work and good fair play. A player had a right to proceed to the basket, but not if an opponent was already standing there. It actually reflected life and should still. If I have an opportunity to go in a certain direction and there is no one in my way, I have every right to do this. If someone is in my way, I must then go around him. Now, if someone is in my way, I must be like Shaq and push and push and push him until I reach my destination. The Bully, now, is the star, not the gifted player. It went from a game that rewarded good play, regardless of the size of the player, apart from the obvious disadvantage of lack of height, to rewarding those who would

I'm sick of these gay fucking star trek cell phone earpieces!!

I'm in the post office today and this fucking asshole has one of those cell phone ear thingy's that reminds me of that guy in Return of the Jedi that had the colon wrapped around his head. The message is that, "I am a dick and you are not noticing my every move so I have to wear this fucking thing in my ear to make you look at me and think I'm cool." Unfortunately, the opposite effect is achieved. You look like a DICK!!! I could see if you are doing business and you are like a Charlie Sheen in "Wall Street" kinda guy and need to be in contact every minute with your peeps, but please!!, if you are not on the phone remove that fucking ridiculous ear apparatus!!! What is your fucking problem, didn't your mommy give you enough attention??? There, I said it. whew!

Having immature fun

I read some blog and wanted to comment on it and the thing said that I have to sign in to comment. I'm like wtf???? So I wrote fuck you for the sign in. It said, " Could not discover claimed identity: url_fetch_error: Error fetching URL: Can't connect to fuck you". Fine. So I thought, "hmmm what else can I write here?" So I typed, "my need to masturbate every hour" and it gave the error: "Could not discover claimed identity: url_fetch_error: Error fetching URL: Can't connect to my need to masturbate every hour". I chuckled. How about, "my wife because she's a fucking bitch" and it spit out, "Could not discover claimed identity: url_fetch_error: Error fetching URL: Can't connect to my wife because she's a fucking bitch". On and on you can imagine the fun I had! Try it sometime!

Dallas Cowboy cheerleader talks about "weakness"

In talking about the series "Making the team" She says something about "weaknesses being exposed". Translation: You are not making guys want to have sex with you. The only weakness that I can see in any DCC is that I don't want to bang her. I am willing to overlook a mistake in her routine. Alright, a couple mistakes. Ok, she can dance like me, but if she's smokin' hot, I'm there!!

THIS FUCKING JAP SHOULD NOT BE A DALLAS COWBOYS CHEERLEADER!!!!

Me so honey, fuck you! Do you tink I danz sexy? If not, I make it more sexy? This fucking matsui fucking look-a-like is not someone I think is hot. Yoshiko, Yo!!! Shiko!!! You are a wannabe. Yoshiko only made this team because of the large asian community in my ass!

Hot girls do not make the squad because of PC bullshit. Yoshiko is so not hot.

Brent Musberger is an incredible dick

I can't think of a better way to describe him. I really want to vomit when I hear the things that come out of his pathetic mouth. It actually gets to the point that I feel sorry for him, because it's quite obvious that he was incredibly abused by his schoolmates and this is what has driven him all of these years, to finally get revenge on all those kids that were better than him in sports.
I truly believe that he has unresolved issues from his youth. Perhaps Emilio Estevez taped his buns together. It is really sad to see how he always latches on to whoever is winning and kisses their ass so completely, it's almost like he is taking revenge on the opponent (which represents all those who treated him badly when he was young) who has talent but has failed, somehow getting a delicious revenge on those jocks who gave him wedgies as a youth.
I believe that he is a very sick man and needs psychiatric help, really. I am not joking when I say this. He really is sick. I used to hate him, but I really think he needs help.

Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader (that'll get some hits!!)

Yoshiko, the Jap chick. Yeah, I said "Jap". I'm controversial. I'll take you down with me. I borrowed that. Thank you. I watched the "making the squad" show on NFL Network. I was very upset that she made the team as she is not hot. She has that "driven" mentality of Nissan, but being driven does not make you hot. I'm sure she appeals to the Asian community, but, she is not as hot or good as those who were dismissed. Me so horny only goes so far, thank you.

That chick in the Mercury commercial does not do it for me

Jill Wagner, I guess, is her name. At least that's what I got from "googling". She has nice boobies (tee hee!) but she strikes me as being a little lesbianish, ya know, a little too athletic. I don't think she likes the penis. I could be wrong and Jill, you can contact me personally to refute this.

How great was Heart?

VH1 has this "class of....'77" or whatever year. They had a video of Heart doing "Barracuda". Ann Wilson was not a big fat ass at that point (sorry Ann, btw, she's the one on the left, Nancy on the right, who's still hot) and she can FREAKIN' SING!! And Oy vay!! the guitar work by Fischer and whoever the hell else, man!, absolute perfection. Heart was so great and the best album was Little Queen. Unbelievable. That's it!