ESPN has become so gay. Soccer. blufshsc(vomit sound)

I'm looking at baseball tonight and they are reviewing the gay soccer tourney. I'm like, "wtf???" I cannot begin to say how gay soccer is and how much I hate that these faggot liberals at ESPN put soccer on a level with real sports. FUCK YOU ESPN!!! STOP FAGGING UP OUR KIDS TO PLAY A GAME THAT RETARDS CAN PLAY!!! CAN A RETARD DO A HIT AND RUN? DOES A RETARD KNOW WHAT PITCH TO THROW TO ALBERT PUJHOLS? DOES A RETARD KNOW TO RUN TO FIRST BASE INSTEAD OF THIRD? I THINK NOT. IF A RETARD CAN PLAY A GAME, IT IS NOT A GAME THAT CHALLENGES PEOPLE TO USE THEIR FUCKING BRAINS. IN OTHER WORDS YOU ARE TURNING OUR COUNTRY TO SHIT AND TO TEACH OUR KIDS THAT THEY ARE NOTHING MORE THAN STUPID NATIVES IN AFRICA. FUCK SOCCER!

Stupid quizzes on Facebook(do you remember these cartoons??)

If you're a person that likes challenges, you like being quizzed. And if you are being quizzed you would like it to not be so easy that every question is a "slam dunk". I am shocked and saddened that this stupid quiz has apparently been passed along by lazy Americans to others to the tune of 2 MILLION times. If I took this quiz, I would be like, "wtf?" this is way too easy. Apparently, people in this country, I can't really say that, it may be abroad to English speaking people, but have we sunk that low, that we actually draw some pleasure out of not being challenged AT ALL????? Disgraceful.

I'm so pissed off right now that I can't even post!

My fucking keyboard is black. I had a white keyboard until one of my kids spilled something on it. I was surprised when the guilty party owned up to it. "I did it" said he. I was impressed with his honesty. I said to him................uh, you know that's bullshit. NOBODY DID IT! It would take CSI to figure this out.

So, it's black. I do most of my typing in the dark. I have a prob with numbers. I can't see them on a black keyboard! I am going to get whiteout and mark the most important keys so I can see them.

One thing leads to another by the Fixx (how I sing it)

The real lyrics are:

The deception with tact, just what are you trying to say?
You've got a blank face, which irritates
Communicate, pull out your party piece
You see dimensions in two
State your case with black or white
But when one little cross leads to shots, grit your teeth
You run for cover so discreet, why don't they:

The way I always sang it(because this is how it sounded to me):
The deception which tied, just what are trying to say?
You got a black face, chewy tits,
Lempa say fa feva Pocratease etc.

I always thought they said, "Chewy tits". Really!

Can we stop kissing Jackie Robinson's ass already????????

What the fuck is up with this constant ass kissing of Jackie Robinson? Fine, he was the first black player. Great! We all acknowledged that and thought it was great that people should not be shunned because they are black. We get it!!!! Do we have to vomit praise all the time for this player? I could see the Mets or Dodgers retiring his number as the Mets are a "byproduct" of the Brooklyn Dodgers. Why don't ALL PLAYERS wear 42 ALL THE TIME to kiss his ass further. How about EVERY stadium be named, "Jackie Robinson Stadium". How about making every player change his name to Jackie Fucking Robinson and play in "blackface" to honor him??? And every person who comes to the game should be in "blackface", and all the announcers too and the umps. How about requiring every MLB player to get plastic surgery to get as close as you can to looking like the great Jackie Robinson? And no players can be drafted unless they have plastic surgery to look like him. And finally, EVERYONE in America has to change their name to "Jackie Robinson". Even the women can feel comfortable, because "Jackie" can be a woman's name too. He was so great, he even took care of that. ALL HAIL THE BLESSED NAME OF OUR GOD, JACKIE ROBINSON!!!

United States defeats Puerto Rico!

This game was similar to the feeling that I had when the United States beat the Soviet Union in the Miracle on Ice! When the USA beat U.S.S.R or Soviet Union, Russia that was the single best sporting event. Tonight was reminiscent on a small scale for the political meaning.

It's obvious what the political meaning was for the "Miracle on Ice".

The meaning for me was the "justice" of the United States defeating those from our territory, Puerto Rico, who have been sponging off of hard working Americans when they are on welfare. There are many from PR who are wonderful people, but so many who come to the States to leech off of the system. Those who do it, be honest, that is what you are doing.

It is evil to do that, to leech off of a system.

Those guys don't look "Dutch"!!!!

The Netherlands team is comprised of people who do not fit the description of "Dutch". What's up wit dat? These are not "Dutch" players, they are transplanted from everywhere else. The reason I am saying this is that everyone is fawning over the Dutch upsetting the Domican Republic. So the picture that they want in people's minds is Hans Christian Anderson times nine in wooden shoes defeating the Goliath of D.R. I am willing to bet that not one of these starters was born in the Netherlands. The US team is, of course, comprised of people whose ancestors were from many countries, but we make no pretense of that. I dunno, maybe everybody is copying us. Freakin' Dutch.

My battery died and my Honda radio doesn't work code ?

My dear people, I see that most hits to my blog are about my Honda radio not working. Here is my experience. My battery went dead. I got a jump and tried to turn on my radio. It said, "code.." I'm like, "what????" Apparently, Honda, in their infinite wisdom, put a "anti theft" thing in your radio, that , when, your radio is stolen and thereby loses power, it needs a "code" to work. That "code" is given to the Honda owner when buying the car and is written on your owner's manual, I think. Sometimes, I've heard that five digit code will be written inside the glove box or on the bottom of your ashtray. If not, apparently, if you give your VIN number to the dealer, they can punch it up on the computer and find your "code". I did that. The code did not work. Apparently, the previous owner's (my) radio was stolen and replaced. Soooooo, in order for them to give me the code, they needed the serial number of the radio which is on a label on the radio.

Here's the tricky part: you have to take the radio out to see the serial #. In order to do that properly, you have to get in there and take all kinds of things apart. I said, "funk dat!!" I removed the "coin tray" under the radio and tried to unscrew the bracket that holds the radio in place. Apparently, it ain't that easy. The brackets are somewhere behind the radio. I just put a flat head screwdriver (redneck alert!!) on the side of the radio and wedged it out enough that I could see the serial number. Needless to say, I bent the bracket to the point I couldn't seat the radio back in. It hangs out about 3 eighths of an inch but it works!!

So, when you get the serial number, you bring that in to the service dept. at your local Honda dealer. I have read online that they would charge you for the info, but they gave me the code free of charge. My advice is: Show them the serial number. If they don't give you the number for free, go to the next nearest dealer until you get it. I had no problem. Don't let these bastards charge you.

Barbara Boxer is like your mother in law (a FUCKING BITCH!!)

Alright, I'm trying to load an image, but my fucking bitch mother in law wanna be, Boxer is blocking it somehow. Ok, I'm sorry, Barbie, it was me. I am retarded about loading images. At any rate, I was able to upload an image of Satan on the right. Now, do you see the similarities? Yes, the eyebrows! But the similarities are not facial, but internal. What do we know about Satan? Class???? He is the Father of what????? .........................C'mon................work with me here......... LIES!!! Yes!!!! My Mother in Law, er, Barbie Boxer went head to head with Sen. Graham about the Porkulus,.....er Stimulus Package with bull dookies. She is evil. Case closed.

Representative Jim Moran is an idiot!

He reportedly said, which I can't believe that anyone could actually say this, but, "We have been guided by a republican administration who believes in this simplistic notion that people who have wealth are entitled to keep it." Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Excuse me???? What the hell is he talking about? That is indicative of how far out of touch Democrats are, or how twisted and unAmerican their views are. Not only unAmerican, unGodlike! So you are going to steal their money Mr. Representative? Disgraceful. Completely.

Earn more sessions... We the people are lazy with our speech!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.listal.com/video/8551380

I invite you all to look at that link because I am too retarded to know how to post vids on my blog. It's Steve Martin in "Roxanne" talking thru the door and Roxanne can't hear him.

If I say to you from across the room, "You're gonna shut down the compressor, so it's not running all weekend, right?" and you think I said, "You're gonna talk to Vanessa, and see if she's coming this weekend, Dwight!" and you don't want to be the asshole and say "what?"( because if you don't hear someone, in our world, it's somehow YOUR fault) so you say,with a goofy smile, "OK!!". You are totally unsure of what I said and the tip off should have been that your name is not "Dwight", and you don't even know anyone by the name, "Vanessa", but being as you don't want to appear like you're an asshole for not "hearing" me, you smile and nod, "OK!!!". Sad.

Maybe the captain of the Titanic heard, "VICEROY IN THE HEAD!!!" rather than "ICEBERG, DEAD AHEAD!!!" and thought that there were cigarettes available in the bathroom and therefore took no action to avoid it.

The point is that we are exceedlingly lazy as a people and when we can't hear something someone says, there are a possible three reasons why: the hearer is hard of hearing, the speaker is not speaking loudly enough or the speaker is mumbling. The fault lies with the speaker, in any of the three cases. If the "hearer" is , in fact, "deef", it is incumbent on the speaker to speak LOUDLY or more clearly. The "hearer" can not "hear" better, so the speaker must make up for it.

So, be a dick and insist that people enunciate. Somebody has to do it, damn it!

I think the cash cab "dumbs it down" for blacks

So, I'm watching the Cash Cab. I see these people get in that are white, and look like intellectuals. I try to answer the questions. I get maybe one or two. Next up, a black guy. Ben starts asking questions and I'm answering pretty much all of these softball questions. I think, "What's wrong with this picture?". Our African American brothers complain about racial profiling, but isn't this racial profiling in reverse? I believe that this is a liberal thing to make black people appear more intelligent than the rest of us. That is insulting to black people. They are saying, "Oh, he's black, let's give him easy questions to help him out." Liberals. The scourge of America.

Our Lord and Saviour, Barack Obama (we are in very deep shit!)

I expect to be punished by the Savior for posting this. In fact, you probably won't see any more posts from me, because free speech is not allowed under his regime. Get ready for a world of shit. You have no idea what is going to happen. Just get ready for it. As for you brain dead people who voted for him, fuck you! And thanks for fucking it up for the rest of us. Dickheads!

My furnace won't start

Ok, here's the deal. My oil furnace won't start. Can't get it started. I got it started. Ran out of oil, fuel, feul. I tried to start it, bleeding the air out. Something didn't seem right. I wasn't getting any oil coming out at the furnace. I went to the tank and the bowl was not filling up. Turns out, my valve was bad. Took the old valve off and very little is dripping out of the hole in the bottom of the tank! SLUDGE!!!! I had the new valve in hand and put a pliers handle into the hole to poke the sludge and HELLO!!!! Here comes the fuel. Screwed that sucker in and now I have heat. Do not underestimate the power of sludge to screw your life up!!!

I tried to upload the picture of the dad from a christmas story, but I don't know how. SADA BINGA!!!!

Keith Olbermann is an evil antichrist to our country

I have never seen a person that has so much venom. I think he needs help. I really do.

Obama grandmother sick my ass!!

Obama's grandmother is sick. Hmmm. Where did I hear this before???? Oh yeah!

Ed, I'm sorry, did you say
you wanted to see a body?
Yeah, roll her old bones over here
and I'll dig up your daughter.

If Republicans doubt his story they end up like Mr. Rooney. Bullshit ploy to garner votes.

Katie Couric is a jealous bitch (who would you do?)

We all know that women are "catty". The "cattyness" grows exponentially when one hits the wall. Catty Couric has hit the wall VERY hard. She is jealous of Sarah Palin looking good. Add to that , that the liberal bitch hates Republicans.

Keith Olbermann is an angry bitch!!!

What the fuck is wrong with Keith Oberman Olberman Olbermann? He is like the kid on the playground that gets picked on (wedgies and whatnot) that is hell bent on getting back at those who hurt him. He has SO much hate for Republicans! Like a seething hatred. What is wrong with this guy?
I used to think he was great on Espn many yrs. ago, but now he's turned into a spiteful hateful person and a cunt. Faggot!

Mets choke job posts I dun on Archie's Army

I don't know if this is going to work, but I'm pasting, yo!

Tommyjoebillyjimbob said...

katherine, saying "In the cold light of day everyone knows they are the franchise going forward. And they're both great." talking about DW and JR is "laughable". Keith Hernandez was great. Kirk Gibson was great. Because when the game was on the line, you could count on those guys.
Having said that, the Mets can't part with them. Wright is learning (kinda like the WOPR in War Games) that he has to change. Reyes doesn't appear to get it yet.
Church is not the problem, despite his shitty performance. Keep in mind he just missed tying the game (how many of you thought it had a chance of being a home run when it came off the bat?? be honest!). He has big balls and made some bad (lotta) decisions on pitches, but that was not nerves. Jury is still out on him, IMHO.

2:56 AM

Tommyjoebillyjimbob said...

Katherine, saying "In the cold light of day everyone knows they are the franchise going forward. And they're both great." talking about DW and JR is "laughable". Keith Hernandez was great. Kirk Gibson was great. Because when the game was on the line, you could count on those guys.
Having said that, the Mets can't part with them. Wright is learning (kinda like the WOPR in War Games) that he has to change. Reyes doesn't appear to get it yet.
Church is not the problem, despite his shitty performance. Keep in mind he just missed tying the game (how many of you thought it had a chance of being a home run when it came off the bat?? be honest!). He has big balls and made some(lotta) bad decisions on pitches, but that was not nerves. Jury is still out on him, IMHO.

2:58 AM

Tommyjoebillyjimbob said...

sorry about the double post double post. i didn't know i was doing it doing it.

Tommy Two Times

btw, great music Arch!!!!

Joey Stivic (Stiwic? Stywyk?)

3:02 AM

katherine said...

tommyjoebillyjimbob (this is just like the Waltons!)

well, at least we agree on Ryan - I don't think he ever really got over those concussions and the effects of the time he had to take off. You can't judge him by this season's post injury performance.

I will remind you of something about the great Keith Hernandez - he was great - but in the bottom of the tenth inning of the sixth game of the 86 World Series, when the game was on the line, he made the second out in the inning. Kid, Kevin Mitchell, Ray Knight and Mookie were the clutchsters in that game.

3:11 AM

Tommyjoebillyjimbob said...

Ryan Howard is kinda like Delgado with more homers and a worse average with incredibly shitty fielding (yes, even worse than Delgado). The Phillies won because of their WILL to win. Their numbers are similar to the Mets. They WANT it. It comes down to the makeup of the players. Davey Johnson didn't say to Carter (who sucked in the Astros series until he manned up and got a winning hit), Kevin Mitchell and Knight to get hits against the Sox in Game 6, THEY wanted it!!!!! The Mets need a player who's got a pair. Lose Delgado.

3:12 AM

Tommyjoebillyjimbob said...

Well, hi Mary Ellen!!! Where's Johnboy??? I thought you said goodnight already!! You probably can't sleep because you are still thinking about our beloved Mets.

Listen, young lady, Keith made the second out in that tenth inning, hitting it deep (as deep as 17 could hit it) to center/right center field. He didn't choke there, he hit the ball well, so c'mon. Not only that, Ray hit a faggy handle shot just over second, unlike my fave, Keith. Big Balls by Ray, don't get me wrong, but...
Oh, and don't forget game 6 of the Astros series how Keith doubled in the ninth when they were down three!! He da man. give some love please Katherine.

3:21 AM

Tommyjoebillyjimbob said...

And another thing dammit!!! LISTEN UP METS FANS!!!!

CARLOS DELGADO IS A PHONY!!! Here's a guy that hits home runs but plays like shit in the field. He is the consummate "Emperor wearing no clothes" and everyone kisses his ass because he pulls his head out of his ass to hit monumental shots.

Early in this season he dragged the Mets down with his anemic fielding and shitty hitting. When Manuel came along and sat his lazy ass on the bench, he realizes that he will be embarassed, so he goes on a tear and strokes his own ego by doing stuff that no one can find fault with: fields like half a Keith (which is 10 times better than what he had done prior) and hits home runs at will. This is a man with GREAT home run power, but is retarded. That's it. He's kinda like a car that has great power but when you have to get on the freeway, you push the pedal and.......nuttin. FU Delgado, you suck@!

3:34 AM

Mets choke, or not, bullpen, ur mom etc

The Mets have lost tonight and the Brew Crew has won. Ironically,that is better for the Mets("Should we put on the runway lights?? Kramer: "No, that's just what they're expecting us to do!" (Airplane humor) Don't you see? Chokers hate to be ahead in any race. If they are ahead, there is SO much more pressure on them and the team that is behind has no pressure. Clever strategy by the Mets.....hmmmmm.

I would put a really funny picture from (Airplane) but I'm too pooped, ok?? Ok, beer.........blahhhhhhhh get off me!