Soccer is so gay and stupid

I'm so glad that the so called "Americans" lost against Guana (isn't that bat shit?). Knowing nothing about soccer, it appears that the referee hosed the "americans". Too bad, but think of it as "taking one for the team". In other words, if that call had not been made, perhaps the "americans" could have won and then the US would have turned more gay because more stupid Dunkin Donut sipping soccer moms would force their faggot sons to play the gayest game on earth.

If you could look at my high school yearbook, the soccer team's group was the biggest collection of non athlete, neo maxin zen dweebies. The Wonder Years did a show on soccer and it reminded me of the dweebs that played in my HS. Soccer sucks and is evil and is a horrible and evil thing to let your kids play it. Do not be a terrorist and let your kids play this evil, mind numbing game.

Ok, boys, look at my ball.

On the Little League website they have this section with this caption:


"Again this year, all local Little Leagues are required to conduct background checks on Managers, Coaches, Board of Directors members and any other persons, volunteers or hired workers, who provide regular service to the league and/or have repetitive access to, or contact with, players or teams." Now, look at the "daisy duke" shorts this guy is wearing. Looks pretty creepy to me. That kid closest to him is like, "Whoa!!! Back up a little!" I don't know if this was an example of what to avoid or what, but. Yikes.

Colonel Flagg Flag is a funny character

Watching Mash tonight. That Flag guy was so funny. That is all.

Dirk Nowitsky did not get it done

It's ok that he missed the second foul shot in the waning seconds. It's the poor shot selection when they were leading. If you are leading by a lot, you must play a game that doesn't allow the opponent to catch up. Dallas did not do this. Dirk is no Bird. Larry was the master. People want to compare the two. Dirk has a long way to go.

Another reason why soccer sucks

I just saw the post game comments of the "Americans" and it is just generalities about a stupid game that has no strategy. It's for FUCKING RETARDS!!! Look at a postgame of a Yankee game. Each player knows what hurt their team and can trace it to a certain play. That's because the game and each person's responsibility is well defined and everyone knows who screwed up. Soccer is just so retarded, really and is for stupid people.

And can the homos at ESPN kiss the ass of soccer in general anymore than it does? Why don't they lead with the Rodeo Championship when it's going on? Because these rich homo bastards faggot sons play soccer because they are too busy to teach them how to learn a real skill like catching a baseball or a football. FUCK YOU ESPN FOR ADVANCING THE COMMUNIST AGENDA OF MAKING OUR KIDS DRIBBLING IDIOTS!

soccer halftime analysis

"We go now to Bob Smith with the halftime analysis". "Thank you Jim. Yes, in the first half we had an awful lot of kicking the ball toward the goal, followed by the opposing team blocking such kicks and kicking it the other way, which was then thwarted by the other team. Fascinating!!! Back to you, Jim!!"

soccer halftime analysis

"We go now to Bob Smith with the halftime analysis". "Thank you Jim. Yes, in the first half we had an awful lot of kicking the ball toward the goal, followed by the opposing team blocking such kicks and kicking it the other way, which was then thwarted by the other team. Fascinating!!! Back to you, Jim!!"

So there I was, watching soccer..........

And they are saying that the US has gotten their asses kicked on a uh 4 yearly basis, and I was thinking, "Why oh why is our team so bad that they get beat so often? We are a big country with lots of people!" and then it came to me. It's because SOCCER SUCKS! and we are not a country of stupid people who lack the intelligence to play REAL sports. Granted, they are in great shape, but so are marathon runners. I don't know anyone who will sit and watch people run for two hours in a marathon. So soccer is like a stupid marathon with trying to kick the ball into the goal once a game. Boooring.

I think the appeal of soccer is looking at that big beautiful lawn. It is mesmerizing to see all that green grass..........

What is Torre doing, pitching Mariano 3 innings?

11-6, Yankees are winning. I know that Rivera had only pitched 16 pitches, but why do you throw him one more in the 11th? I don't get it.

Annoying Yankee fan Pt. 2

Holy shit!!!! If I was a fan at "Tiger Stadium", I would find out where this guy was sitting and consider flinging a "submarine pitch" of beer or, even an aerial bomb from an upper deck, but then you'd have collateral damage. Of course, punching him in the face could get you arrested. The one consoling fact is that God is just. As annoying and evil as some Yankee fans are, God is watching all this and if they are deserving of punishment, they will be punished, either here or in the hereafter. I must be merciful and hope that they are punished here as opposed to the bad place, or at least in purgatory. I forgive them, but punishment is most likely warranted. So don't worry, if you are a decent and good baseball fan, you will not be punished for such. I must confess that, yes, I have hated the Yankees.

Incredibly annoying Yankee fan at Commiskey 2

I am watching the damn Yankees tonight on YES, relishing every mistake they make, and I keep hearing (how could you miss it?) this annoying Yankee fan. Every pitch, "C'MON FARNSWORTH!!" ,every batter, "C'MON JETER!!!!" My dear asshole Yankee fan: Do you think they can actually hear you?

Why is the sound crew not buying this guy a better seat AWAY from the broadcast booth? I would go to him and say, "I will give you 500 bucks if you go sit in the nosebleed section!" Either that, or tell him he has an emergency call and then kick his ass and tell him he's not allowed to sit there. "C'MON MARIANO!!!" I just heard. Again.

I'm sure this is completely annoying for Yankme fans as well!!??

A funny thing happened at the park

So there I was at the park and I saw my old girlfriend so I went over and sniffed her butt, which was pretty difficult, considering she was sniffing mine at the same time, but we got it done. After that, I caught the scent of another bitch's poop and proceeded to put my snout in it and then rub my back all over it...............wait a minute. Oh, no, that was my dog! I brought the little bastard to the park and let him do his business away from where people walk. That's because I ain't pickin' up no SHIT! I don't let him poop where people are ok? Anyhoo, I throw him the ball, he brings it back several times, it's all good. Then he smells something and then decides to dive in and roll around in it. Vile, week old poop or something like it is what I smelled when he got back in the car. I had half a mind to throw him into the pond, but then it would be wet old poop and so I decided to suffer on the way home and into the shower he went.

Why do they do that? "If I roll in shit, the bitches will be all over me!!" he must thought?? This is why dogs will never be president.

Markie Post was HOT!

Night Court. You remember the show. This woman had the greatest legs ever. Beautiful face. Beautiful woman. Ugh.

Sorry about 5 times wit da pic, but I don't know how to do this stuff.

Kelly Ripa needs the stupid banged out of her

I am resisting any notion that she is hot, because she's got that bony chest and she shouldn't be hot, but she's cute and then she does dumb commercials and if somebody just banged the stupid out of her, then I wouldn't.. I don't know. I don't know. It seems like she just does stupid commercials and she's just asking for penis.

FYI Bonds wins the "asshole contest"

I did a Google search, putting Bonds in the "exact phrase" box and asshole in the "with all the words" box. Then I changed the Bonds to Griffey.
The results:

Bonds: 346,000 pages
Griffey: 15,000 pages

I'm not rainman but it looks like a lot more people think of Bonds as an a hole ; )

And on a good note, Junior goes yard!

Ken Griffey Jr. , I hope, hits a thousand home runs because he is a nice guy and he ain't cheatin'. Do a Google search with the words: "Bonds , asshole" and "Griffey, asshole" and I guarantee you that it will be 20 to 1. Griffey deserves praise, Bonds does not. I love Junior and feel so sad for him that he has missed so many games due to injury. He also has the most perfect swing in baseball.

The difference between Bonds and Pujhols

Bonds is what, 42? Pujhols is 25? It's not amazing for a 25 yr. old to have 21 homers at this point. It is amazing when a 40 yr. old does that. Not amazing, suspicious. Furthermore, "pre-additive" Mark McGwire had 33 home runs at the All Star break when he was young and skinny and played with Oakland. He ended up with less than fifty, I think.
The point is, if Poopholes hits 73 homers this year, that does not vindicate Bonds' cheating. I'm sure all the Bonds lovers are ready to say, "See, it's possible to hit 73 home runs in a year!" NOT WHEN YOU'RE FORTY!!!!!!!!!!! When most players can't even hit .250 at that point. It may be that Albert is the next Babe Ruth, but that it no way exonerates Bonds' misdeeds.
Every power hitter shows a decline in home runs after 35 yrs. old. Explain to me how Bonds hit more homers AFTER 35 than before?

I believe that Alex Rodriguez is mentally ill

What the heck was that tonight? He hits a home run and looks straight up like it's a popup and he's looking left and right for the ball and finally realizes it's out of the park. WTF? He did the same thing last year or the year before, where he hit one out and thought it was popped up. He is one strange bird.

I think that he is so pressurized by the New York scene that he is so tight in big spots. He is a wonderfully gifted ballplayer, but gets all screwed up with the pressure. I feel sorry for him.

And ANOTHER thing that makes Bonds an asshole!

What is up with the armour on his right arm? There's no armor in baseball!!! Do you know why he has that? So that he can hang out over the plate to reach the pitches on the outside part of the plate. He has no fear about that because his elbow is fully protected. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT? There are probably only a handful of players who have this protection which should be illegal, btw. Part of being a batter is to be man enough to take your licks once in a while. Bonds is a faggot sissy coward and I hate him! Find every way to cheat that you can you asshole and then when you win, smile that everyone is kissing your cowardly ass! FUCK YOU! YOU EVIL BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

F U Yankees and the closer you came in on!!!!!!!!!!

HOW SWEET IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!! The Mets came into this game with the starting rotation missing two to injury and are down 4 to zip against Randy Johnson. Game over, right? Not! Randy is struggling lately, which is lovely in itself and it was so nice of him to suck tonight. The best part is that Mariano who is THE MAN was beaten by my Mets! The Mets and their fans are tired of being the ugly stepchild. I hate the damn Yankees and they can't lose enough for me. I respect Mariano immensely and it is so sweet because all of the asshole Yankee fans are crying in their beer tonight!!!!!!!!!!HA HA!!!! Hey Yankee fans FUCK YOU!

Pedro tomorrow and Glavine Sunday. Oh, wait a minute......do you smell something? Yeah.................I think it smells like a ............SWEEP!